It's been a while and a lot has been happening, lots of change in every aspect of my life (and it seems in those around me).
I found out 2 weeks ago that I was being laid off at work. Something a lot of people have had to deal with over the last few years with all the economic struggles the western world has been facing. For me, this was the first time in 12 years that I didn't have security that a pay cheque would be coming in. It's quite a strange feeling to know that everything will change and there's nothing I can do about it: "trying harder" wasn't going to change the outcome of my circumstances, I am going to lose my job...
There's something to be said for intuition, I knew that it was going to happen before it did, I guess my boss must have been giving off that vibe that day! The most surprising thing was the way the whole event affected me. I'll admit it, I had a little cry when I first heard the news. Being laid off really makes you feel like you've been fired, that you've done something wrong, that someone doesn't like you or that you haven't done your best. Despite all their reassurances that it was nothing I did, those thoughts all went through my mind. However, after calming down and talking to the best parents in the world, I started to realize that everything really does happen for a reason.
Usually I hate that phrase, people seem to use it as an excuse not to try: at the end of relationships, when they are too lazy or too scared to follow their dreams, when they won't take responsibility for something they've messed up or for someone they've hurt. This time it was a really empowering feeling. I really felt, whilst it's scary, it's really going to push me into a new chapter in my life. I was bored at my job, it wasn't by any stretch of the imagination busy or interesting enough for me, but it was easy and paid well so I never really questioned it, now I'm forced to look and I'm looking for places that really appeal to me. It also came just a few days after completing my yoga teacher training - right at the time that I wanted to focus more and more on my yoga I'm able to look for a position that will give me that flexibility.
At the end of 2011 I'd ask for changes throughout my life, I thought the big one was going to be just taking my yoga TT ... it turns out the universe has got a lot more in store for me, and by accepting that and breathing through it I know I'll end up in a stronger, happier place. Be careful what you wish for my friends, but when you ask for it don't lose faith, just go with it.
