Slow Down

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. ~ Moliere

  

Exhale.

Pause.

Exhale again. 

Do you feel what’s left?

Are we in such a rush these days that we only do things “just enough”, even down to our breath, leaving behind toxins and tension instead of fully releasing and surrendering?

Watching videos of 30 minute yoga sequences compressed to fit on Instagram feels jarring to me. Yes the flow is exotic, the bodies are beautiful, the postures challenging, but something key is missing.

The long nourishing inhale; the sweet slow exhale.

Do these key elements of the practice just take too long for social media to bear? I wonder how this rush, the need for faster, quicker, better, in the information superhighway that takes up more and more of our “leisure time” is impacting our reality...

In an age of 15 second videos and 144 characters have we forgotten how to completely let go?

I am not downplaying social media at all, I love to keep up with distant friends and family via Facebook, to gain inspiration from other yogis on Instagram, heck I even blog once in a while. What I need to know is that the practice isn't becoming a means to a cool 'selfie', that the ever increasing group of athletic awesome yogis is using it to move toward balance, and not just toward the next arm balance.

I see it more and more in class, some sort of staccato march from one posture to the next. Witnessing students muscle in and out as quickly as possible as though it were a check list they had to complete. It’s time to refocus on the stillness, externally and internally. To relish in the realization that within stillness so much is changing and growing; physically yes, but importantly mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Put simply, I’d rather see 15 seconds of a simple transition from Warrior I to Warrior II, with breath, with control, than a compressed 30 minute practice showing off your most complex transitions. That’s not to say don’t show me your 30 minutes, just know that I’m okay watching it in real-time, I’m okay spending 30 minutes learning from you.

I want to see you go slow, take your time, lavish in the detail of what you’re doing and most of all, breathe.

Applying yoga thought to yoga auditions

You'd think it was obvious: yoga studio owners and managers will behave in manner appropriate to the yogic path right?

Hmm, in this day and age of a studio on every corner, and yoga "corporations" popping up left, right and centre ... not so much.

You can tell a lot about a studio and their ethos by how they audition you and interact with you when applying for teaching posts. Over the past 5 months I have responded to countless posts about yoga openings across the city. Of those I responded to I've been invited to numerous auditions. As someone without any background in dance, singing or acting, I really had no pre-conceptions about attending an audition, it was a little daunting but merely because of the pressure I placed on myself to be teaching as soon as possible. What I was not expecting were the extremes of the audition experience.

My audition experiences have been diverse to say the least.
From the fantastic : welcoming, friendly one-on-one chats in a back room, subbing standing classes at a peak time or teaching a new studio owner and his partner-in-crime in his living room.

Shout out to my personal teaching spots CorePower Yoga, Shambhala Yoga & Dance, Earth Yoga NYC and Church Avenue Yoga & Bodywork Center - there's a reason I am excited to turn up at your studios to work, you make me feel like part of a community and treat me with such grace and respect, and it started right at the audition process.

   

   

To the obnoxious : 50 other students, 3 minutes a piece, trying to fit in each others flows and practice in a highly competitive, awkward environment.

To the frankly ... creepy : being asked to come take a class and being watched as I practice (from behind I'll add) along with 3 other girls, only to be ignored in the studio and emailed later to come take another class to be watched again. ... No, I did not go back.

With this in mind, whether you're a current studio owner, looking to own a studio in the future, or a teacher looking for spots here are my Yamas and Niyamas of Yoga Auditions.

For the Managers and Owners:

Practice Ahimsa (non-violence) : treat your potential teachers with respect, allow them to warm up before asking them to jump into a disjointed flow taught by other teachers, acknowledge they may be nervous. And for goodness sake acknowledge them!

Practice Satya (truth / honesty) : be honest, ALWAYS be honest. If you only intend to hire from within do not audition others to simply "fill space". Be aware that teachers may have turned down paying spots to be with you. Be honest with what you are looking for before you book the audition.

Practice Asteya (non-stealing) : Do not waste teachers' time. They are there for you, they are interested in you - do not keep them waiting and do give them fair time to demonstrate their craft. If they are auditioning you are not texting or talking (yep, I've had that experience and it left a really bad taste)

Practice Brahmacharya (moderation) : Simple. 30 teachers in a room with 2 minutes to teach is too much. You can't remember everyone, they can't take enough time to settle themselves let alone demo how wonderful they are.

Practice Aparigraha (non-hoarding) : The audition experience belongs to both you and your auditionees. As yogis we are a community, a way of life, share your thoughts so teachers can grow even if they are not right for you right now. Simple shutting the door behind a teacher and ignoring their requests for feedback is no short of rude. We're all busy, if you have too many people to respond to then look up a point!

For the Teachers:

Practice Saucha (cleanliness) : Of mind, of body and of flow. Keep it effective. Trying to do too much will make you feel nervous and that will show. Stick to what you know and teach it well, let them hear your voice. Any studio that chooses acrobatics over authenticity probably isn't going to be a fit for you (unless that's what you love, in which case, hell, go for that crazy inversion!)  Also, and this should go without saying, remember you are auditioning from the moment you step into the studio, just as you are teaching all the time not just in the yoga room, your actions and behviours leave an impression, good studios want good teachers who embody the practice on and off the mat.

Practice Santosha (contentment) : know your worth. Your time has worth. Your training has worth. Your energy and heart has worth. Trust that the right studio will recognize that and be okay waiting for them.

Practice Tapas (heat) : BRING IT! Don't turn up half-hearted. Be there and show them how completely brilliant you are.

Practice Svadhyaya (self-study) : Be honest about how you did, be honest about whether the studio is a fit for you. This is, after all, as much an audition for the manager as it is for you. As for feedback and take it graciously.

Practice Ishvara Pranidhara (surrender) : Let go. If you've done your work, trust that the right studio will hire you. This is an age crying out for healing - your light will shine.

Live the questions...

Yoga raises more questions than it answers.

Why can’t I put my foot behind my head yet? 

Why am I scared of inversions? 

How do I align my hips in half moon? 

What is the point of Ujjayi breath? 

Why do get angry in Half Pigeon?

It can be irritating and unnerving, especially in a society where we are expected to be, and are rewarded for being, decisive, knowledgeable and forthright. 

However, when we pause and we begin to practice within those questions our practice grows. Instead of forcing a pose, when we ask what’s going on and take the time to breathe and be okay with not really knowing, something magic happens and we find that it gets easier and before we know it we’re in a place we never expected to be.

Similarly, off the mat, when we begin to live the questions we begin to investigate ourselves and we get to know ourselves on a deeper, more authentic level.

Remember the last time you met someone new, perhaps a first date or a job interview – those times are all filled with questions. Often the true answers don’t come until much later when you really experience that person, that relationship, that job.  You find the things you love over time, the quirks, the annoying habits that you’d be lost without, the short cuts and organization you need.

In the same way, life unfolds itself slowly to us, but for some reason we stop asking the questions. We start to believe we know it all.

Just for today allow yourself to challenge that:  ask every question, live every question. Stop preempting the answer, be safe in the knowledge that it will come in time, but for now investigate, experiment and play in the unknown.

As Deepak Chopra says “Accept what you do not know and what you do not know you do not know”. Breathe into those spaces, and in that place of intrigue, of mystery, of magic, find the fullness of life. Return to your childlike innocence where the wonder and the wild things are, the places where everything is new, surprising and fantastic. Let go of the “I know” of the ego and be okay with the “I wonder”. In this place … in the questions … truly anything is possible

The years are short ...

... but the days are long

My birthday always makes me think about what I've achieved, where I am, and what I still wish to achieve.

When St Patrick’s Day rolls around every year I am always surprised it’s here so quickly, it feels like just yesterday we were celebrating the New Year.

I've come to realize that, although time seems to pass so quickly when you’re in the moment, there is so much that you can pack in, it’s really astounding when you reflect.

It always surprises me to think we are already in mid-March, and for a brief moment I worry that time is passing too quickly for me and I wish that I had set out on my dreams and goals earlier. But then I think about what I've done in the past twelve months; the classes I've taught, people I've met, places I've traveled, skills I've learned from scratch and those I've honed in and it makes me realize how much I can and will still achieve.

If you can learn to walk, talk, eat, do your sums, read and write before you’re 5, imagine what you could learn to do now you have all of those skills if you just dedicated yourself to it. The natural aptitude of the child is joyous attention. Before we learn the fear of failure and disappointment, we inherently know the magic and excitement of trying and growing through every success AND every failure.

Instead of slowing down and feeling like you've already peaked, find a new goal, a new horizon, a new challenge and work for it. However it turns out, if you work hard, you'll grow from the experience, you'll learn a lot and you might just find a new dream in the process.

Time does pass quickly: instead of lamenting it choose to keep up. Stay childlike, keep learning, keep growing.

Crowing From The Roof Tops

This year I vow to master The Crow

Um ....

This year I vow to master Crow pose

You’ll often hear yoga teachers introduce Bakasana (crow pose) as the “beginners” or “easy” inversion. For many reasons they’re not wrong: your body mass remains close to the ground lowering your centre of gravity, you progress in small stages with one toe at a time,  well, because Iyengar listed it as an easier posture (and that guy knows his sh*t!). For as many reasons, and more, crow pose is neither a beginning nor an easy posture and it is terrifying, and often times disheartening, for many students (including myself) to be told so.

When I started my first yoga teacher training I was by far the physically weakest, heaviest, least flexible and least practiced / seasoned of the group. Those things played heavy on my heart, I felt less than adequate and constantly told myself I would never manage certain postures no matter how hard I tried. The fun of partner yoga for one was on my list of “looks amazing but not for me” items, most arm balances and inversions went into the “yeah yeah I get what you’re saying but I’m not built that way” category and even chataranga fell into the box marked “sure, when I've started weight training”

I learnt to teach Crow as part of a Level 1 sequence, we encourage students to play and have fun with the feeling of being upside down and being on their hands, even if they are brand new to the practice. I really love that attitude of just giving it a go, and, if positioned properly it allows new yogis to feel like they’re not stuck on the D-team, just craving the day they are ‘good enough’ to move up a level. For me, it was empowering as a teacher, from an early stage to be given the tools to teach a posture I could not yet demonstrate – learning to rely on my words and encouragement to see student after student succeed. It was also empowering for my students to see a teacher fall and smile and keep trying week after week.

For my part I have never not tried, however, I do recognize my inner voice still screaming “okay have a go, but it’s not going to happen”. Physically I have changed; I’m more open, stronger and steadier. I have learnt to enjoy the challenges of new postures and look forward to practicing headstands, handstands, hurdlers, side crow and more, comfortable in the knowledge that I have so far to go. So I know my body is ready for Crow, but my mind has not been (a true testament to the power of positive – or in this case negative – thinking).

So here is my pledge – this year I am going to master crow. Who knows if my crow pose will look perfect, frankly, who cares! I will keep practicing until I no longer fear it. That is my commitment

And if, like me, you struggle with your “beginners” inversion – remember:

1. You can do anything you put your mind to
2. Crow teaches you the basics of core control, how to breathe upside down and how to face the fear of face-planting – but it does not have to be your first inversion, if you’re in a rut, try something else
3. No-one but you cares if you can do Crow or not, you get all the benefits of the arm work in plank pose and all the benefits of an inversion in any forward fold so do what you want to do, not what you think is expected
4. Come back. Let go for a while, play around elsewhere, and come back.

I’ll start a photo log of my progress so you can giggle along … heck maybe I’ll make it a video log  - would love to see you flying high too.

Dare to dream BIG

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

On Friday night I had one of the most beautiful dreams. So peaceful and simple I was photographing a kaleidoscope of small purple butterflies. (What a beautiful name for a group of butterflies … a kaleidoscope).  All the while the rain was lightly falling but the sun was shining through allowing the brightest rainbow to form over me.

I woke on Saturday refreshed, calm and filled with passion and drive, sublime timing for the kick-off of my Level One Urban Zen Integrative Therapy course.

The weekend panned to be powerful and transformative, jumping in with both feet again into the fountain of healing knowledge … dipping my toes always seems the sensible route but never satisfies my thirst. I feel like my eyes have been opened  to truths my heart has known for some time. The path for me is clearer every day, not easy and definitely not short nor full of surprises, but clearer and more tantalizing than ever before. To hone my knowledge and my skills, to allow my heart to burst open and truly vesslefy the power that is all around us and within each of us to, simply put, make things a little better.

Out of intrigue I looked up some dream interpretations:

The rainbow is also seen as a bridge between your earthly, grounded self and the higher, spiritual self. ~ www.dreammoods.com

The butterfly most commonly is a symbol of transformation. … Taking all of this into consideration it is easy to see that dreaming of a butterfly may mark the beginning of a transformation in your waking life. …Butterflies are also a symbol of spirituality. Many times when a dreamer dreams of butterflies around them, or of observing them, it means that in their waking life they are on the verge of a deep spiritual journey, full of new awareness and possibilities. ~ http://contributor.yahoo.com/user/9341/sincerity_anna.html

Prepare to be Stressed

There are so many misconceptions about yoga, I've heard most of them and I'm not ashamed to say I held a fair number of them myself. But by far and large the most populated myth is that yoga is all about flexible people just relaxing and stretching.

Don't get me wrong, you can find classes that focus entirely on rest and relaxation, truly wonderful, much needed classes; but in the West the majority of yoga studios focus on a lively, fast-paced "cardio" version of Vinyasa or Ashtanga yoga. Why there is still such a widely held misconception I don't know, but I do think it is important to address if you are about to take your first yoga class, or perhaps if you've fallen into a rut with your current yoga practice.

Without even getting into the fact that the physical postures are only a tiny slither of a yoga practice, it is crucial to remember that yoga is about balance.

Literal balance (because yes, a fair amount of class is spent on 1 leg, or your hands or even your head), but more importantly balance of the body, balance of the emotions and balance of the mind. Finding that place where you are both flexible and strong, where you are calm and focused and where you are committed but unattached.

Why then, when we are trying to achieve a more peaceful, balanced state would we put ourselves under any level of stress? Why has the West developed such a love and yearning for the flows and fusions? Part of this, I'm sure, is down to our very nature. Life is so fast paced that we are conditioned from such a young age to "keep up", to never get left behind. We are reprimanded for being lazy when we're perceived to quiet or still and we are reminded that the first across the finishing post gets the gold. Yoga in the West has adapted to us, it gives us what we want whilst at the same time quietly nudging us toward what we need. You can walk into any good studio for a work out, and leave feeling like a different person; in a way that rarely happens after 60 mins on the treadmill.

Yoga helps us to understand that we can and often do benefit from a certain level of 'stress'. Without well-placed physical stress we cannot develop healthy muscles and joints. Yet, at the same time it opens our eyes to undue stress and it allows us, no, it encourages us, to back off, to breathe, to create space and calm. To find balance.

We come to our mats to practice under controlled stress. As our bodies physically open and strengthen those stresses change from the physical to the mental. We learn to stand on one leg, to trust our own bodies, and to breathe, and as we do so, we learn how to handle difficult situations without unnecessary discomfort during our day-to-day lives. I mean, if you can smile during Warrior III or Bound Half-Moon, then you can smile when you forgot to save your work and your PC crashed.

It's like learning to hold your breathe under water: at first it seems terrifying and all you can think about is clinging to those last few seconds of oxygen before you resurface. But practiced time and time again you start to enjoy the feeling of suspension, trusting that the emptiness and airlessness is only temporary and relishing in the moment of silence and stillness.

When I find myself gritting my teeth in class and wishing the pose to be over I bring myself back to that thought of stillness, back to the realization that those moments where I skirt the edge of my abilities - those are the moments when all the magic starts to happen. My body strengthens, my breath deepens and my mind relaxes.

And, just when you get attached to your the flow and fusion, when you feel comfortable in the heart of a room full of sweaty yogis, you are well advised to return to the yin. To find the quiet, deep relaxation, to take all that you have learnt from being upside-down inside and to sit with it while it bubbles over with thoughts and emotions and feelings that have been waiting for you. To apply your ability to breathe and to smile in twisted triangle pose, to the stuff that really matters, to you, to your heart.

To find balance.
To find peace.

It's the final countdown...

Not really, I’m all done, but who doesn't love that earworm!

So – I survived!  And honestly … I feel amazing.

Results:

• *        More energy
• *        Brighter skin and eyes
• *        9lbs down
• *        More focused and calm
• *        Resting better
• *        Cleansed palette – food tastes better
• *        Weirder dreams!!

Coming off the juice but retaining a couple days officially in the cleanse really was a brilliant way of easing back into “regular” life. Having to still keep track has helped me manage what I’m eating on the other side of allowing my body to reset itself. I feel empowered to eat more consciously.

For me, I am planning to maintain a largely vegan and gluten free diet, however, I will not be 100% on either. I think it’s important to find what realistically works for each and every one of us, and I’m sorry but there’s nothing better to me than a pepperoni pizza and beer night!! 

Having said that, I have noticed that my days go smoother and I feel no bloatedness or sluggishness in the afternoons when I stick to the basic cleanse rules (i.e vegan, gluten free, no sugar, no caffeine, no alcohol and spacing food with at least 3 hrs between each snack or meal).

I've noticed my yoga asana practice has strengthened. I've taken a vigorous class every day and I’m finding not only additional strength in the postures, but also a greater awareness of myself, my breath and my body in each posture. Moving into postures I've taken hundreds of times before, I've found a new extension, depth or alignment, it has been rather profound. That is reason enough for me to keep working hard and being even more mindful of my body and health. It’s eye-opening, as someone who takes relatively good care of herself, how much else can be done to ensure a full and energized life.

Would I recommend the cleanse? Absolutely! It’s damn hard work but it’s really worth it, and 8 days later it seems like the blink of an eye. I’m actually keen to do another at the turn of summer into autumn.

The hardest part for me was the self-reflection. Taking the honest look at myself to see where my habits are, why they are there and where I tend to just be a little lazy with my own health.

If you’re willing to take a real look at what drives your habits, and to completely wipe the slate clean you have an amazing opportunity to lose weight, feel better, figure out your allergies (cleansing the system gives you a unique opportunity to slowly reintroduce food groups to see what impacts you) and, for nothing more, the great sense of accomplishment you get from saying “I did it”, “I have taken back control of my health”.

I'm tired of hearing about the next craze in dieting, the next pill that "... could be the magic ingredient that lets you lose weight without diet and exercise" (thank Dr Oz for that one). You know yourself better than anyone else - you don't need to be told what to do. What works for one doesn't work for all. Take responsibility for what you want out of life.

My golden rule is : If you're unhappy you have 2 choices - you can either make a change, or you can choose to be happy as you are. For as hard and as scary as change can seem, it is much more difficult to be happy when you're inherently not. Everything changes - take control of the change and steer it in the direction you want it to go.

Can you smeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllll what AL is cooking?

Day 6 and I’m into the final leg of the journey.

Sunday was my last day of just juice and it was incredibly easy. My energy levels were through the roof (Lauren explained that 80% of the body’s energy is used in food digestion, so the boosts are natural), and even the green juice started to taste great!

Think I might miss my liquid fridge

I was a little nervous moving back to solid foods today. I’ve noticed more and more my hunger habit – those times when I’m not really hungry but I feel I should eat so I persuade myself that I am. It’s helpful having an eating schedule (never sooner than 3 hrs after the last meal, and never after 7.30pm), but it also takes some courage to dive back into solids without risking all the good work so far. I opted for the half-way point: delicious, thick home-made soup.

Time to chew

And there’s the other benefit of the plan, I’ve actually started to cook. Never been bad at cooking, I’ve just never enjoyed it. Now that I have a reason to cook (vegan options are limited to a falafel salad and split pea soup in my immediate work vicinity) it’s way more enjoyable making my dishes for the week.

I had a total cooking fest last night – kale chips, spaghetti squash and tomato sauce, vege soup and kitcheree. I wish I’d had the thought to take a photo, it’s like hurricane Anna Louise hit the kitchen J

In just 5 days of cleansing I’m noticing an obvious weight loss (for those interested 5lbs so far), boost in energy, brighter skin and eyes, lighter mood and most dramatically for me a new taste palette. Natural food smells and tastes amazing. Without the processing, salts, fats and sugars that are slammed into most of our food these days, my taste buds have come alive, everything tastes so much better and as such I’m more inclined to take my time, to enjoy my meal and to process it properly. So much better than bolting down that dry crummy sandwich or over indulging in late night snacks.

My goal now is to ease back into solid food naturally with a good rhythm, one that allows me to eat well but the right things at the right times and maintain the clarity and energy.

Hello colon

If you've ever doubted what one of the worst drinks in the world is - let me enlighten you - 32oz of water with 2 teaspoons of salt. Yep it tastes as bad as it sounds. Having said that it absolutely works! Today was my colon cleanse, without too many graphic details... Let's just say I'm glad yesterday was nothing but juice!

Starting to see the effects physically and emotionally now, feeling lighter, brighter and more energized. Now I miss food but I'm not hungry .

My concern is returning to bad habits post cleanse, it would be so easy to jump back into too much and dislodge all the benefits of this week. That will be my battle, sticking to a largely vegan diet requires preparation , which can be tough when you're trying to hold down a professional life, social life, private life and chase down your dreams , difficult ... But not impossible. I'm committed  though, ready to keep on working hard.

Juuuuuuice

The next 3 days are nothing but juice juice juice.

You'll be happy to hear my mood has lifted.

It's tough for me - not the hunger, that's still there but much milder - but drinking veg juices with the spice/peppery aftertaste doesn't match my sweet tooth. It's been an enlightening though, beginning to understand the difference between real hunger and the habit of eating. Since the juices are palatable but not my favourite thing, I'm taking my time with them, filling up with water and waiting until I'm  actually hungry and not just bored or stressed before I drink them.

For someone who has taken pretty good care of herself over the last few years, it's a huge eye opener to find these little areas of habit and perhaps even addiction to a "quick fix".  I'm motivated to stick with it and reset not just my body but my emotions and attitude toward food.

I love a good breakthrough ... not matter how peppery they are :)

Day 2 … Woah There Grumpy B(r)itches

Feeling ruff

Rough start to day 2 from an emotional level, I felt out of sorts and out of patience as soon as I woke. Didn't help that I didn't sleep well either, although I think that was less to do with cleansing, and more to do with the joys of city living and those sporadic 3am street gatherings.

The wonderful gift of yoga, however, is that I recognize it quickly. It gives me both insight to notice when I’m not myself, and the means to realign and re-centre should I chose. And folks, choice is important, it’s totally possible to be a yogini and decide to avoid your inner voice and fight regardless. I wish I could say I handle every situation with peace and grace, but the truth is sometimes I let myself (and my fiery Pitta) boil over. 

More often than not, those are the times that you inadvertently hurt someone you care about, whether it’s a friend or family member you snap at for no reason, or those big puppy dog eyes you get when you shout at the barking instead of tending to their needs.

So what do you do when you boil over?   Simple:

Firstly, take a moment to be silent, whether it’s quiet meditation, a yoga class, or a long walk, take the time to be by yourself and listen.

This morning I sat for just 10 minutes in meditation and the effect was palpable. Just being able to listen to, accept and, in this case, giggle at the ridiculous response having to my morning calmed me down and removed the aches and pains I was feeling in my upper back and hips (of course my root and heart chakras were over active with those emotions).

And never be afraid to keep to yourself. Being mindful doesn't mean that you have to always be bright and breezy, you can be having a s*** day too, just be mindful of it and don’t project it onto those around you. The more you practice that, practice removing yourself from situations that are likely to increase your anxiety or anger, the calmer and happier you become. Just as the more you work-out and practice improving your cardiovascular system, the stronger it becomes in every-day life.

Secondly, apologize. If you snapped at someone, go make it better.  Just do it. Don’t over-think it, don’t lead with ‘ifs’, ‘ands’ and ‘buts’ – just go say, “I’m sorry, that was wrong of me”. Remember you don’t necessarily have to explain why, but you are responsible for putting things right. And when you apologize, mean it, if you’re not calm and ready yet, wait.

To that point – if you’re reading this as a friend, family member or lover of a feisty off-balance yogi today – give them room, let them breathe, they will come to you when they’re ready and it will mean much more to you and to them when it’s not forced.

So, asides my noticeable tetchiness, things are already much easier today. My hunger pangs are further and further apart and I feel … how do I describe it … well : cleaner. The effects of putting good things into my body, and using food as medicine, whether real or imagined, have a very real impact on my general feeling of well-being. I’m already encouraged to work through the tough-spells and keep up with some of the less pleasant sides of the cleanse (FYI I’m really not looking forward to Saturday’s colon cleanse and I’m racking my brain for excuses as to why I simply can’t drink a bucket of luke warm salt-water)

I feel like I’m at that pivotal spot, easy to quit because I feel better and the idea of a juice-cleanse doesn't thrill me, but long-sighted enough to know I just have to ignore my grumbles and get through this for the benefits in the long run.

Special thank you Ms Spears for the motivational tune of my day , because sometimes, when it’s tough, you just have to put your head down and Work B****!

Not to mention it makes me giggle every time I hear her terrible Nicki Minaj-esque fake British accent, it may surprise no one that we don’t all say “gov’nor”. Bless you Brit, bless you.

Spring, scratch that, Winter Clean

I started a cleanse today, and so, for your interest … perhaps entertainment … I thought I’d blog a little about my progress along the way.

What am I doing?

The Kali Ayurvedic Yoga Detox lead by Lauren

What does it involve?

What doesn’t it involve?!

The full program will include:

*        Vegan diet (including 3 days of juicing)

*        dry-brushing and abhyanga (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abhyanga)

*        liver, colon and kidney cleanses

*        yoga, meditation and breath-work

*        self-reflection

How does it work?

Ayurveda is the sister-science to yoga, honed in over 5000 yrs and specifically tailored to your distinct dosha (you can find any number of dosha tests online – here’s a good example: http://www.yogajournal.com/health/2630 )

I fall in a split category, physically I’m Kapha, emotionally more of a Pitta.

It really doesn’t matter where you fall, and you will change over time / according to stresses etc, what’s important is trying to balance them.

Just as with yoga, the sister science works on balancing you out so that you feel more centred and relaxed, which in turn promotes well-being in all aspects of your life.

Ayurveda is not a quick fix, it is largely a preventative treatment (although an Ayurvedic specialist can work with you to treat and heal specific illnesses) that aims to promote a thoughtful approach to your nutrition and body care.  It focuses both on what’s going into your body and what you are putting on and doing with your body.

Why am I doing it?

Simply put – it’s time to clean.

I had a big move, lots of travel, holidays and sickness. It’s time to blow the cobwebs away and reset my body in preparation for the depths of winter.

And why follow this cleanse? A few reasons, initially I took interest in it because it was at my neighbourhood studio and I figured it would be a great way to meet some new people in the area. Having spent time with Lauren I’m so glad I signed up with her – she makes it so easy. We were all provided with a book of recipes, talked through every stage of the cleanse and given a bag of goodies to get us kicked off. For me the idea of “just eat vegan” is too hard, but if you give me a handful of recipes to work from I’m off, Lauren did all that and more and it’s super easy for me follow along and stay on track.

So … how are you doing?

Well, it’s only day 1 of an 8 day cleanse, but so far so good. Started the day at 6.30 (okay I lie, I snoozed and got up at 6.40 … but heck, it’s much better than the usual rushing out the door for work!). The early morning was actually lovely, and it gave me a chance to spend just a few minutes on breath-work and meditation, something I’ve long wanted to start but kept getting side-tracked by the comfort of my bed! It also feels good actually spending time on myself – not the usual rush – time to properly treat my skin, my body, and my morning.

The kidney cleanse is not enjoyable, not going to lie about that, but then I’m really not a fan of turmeric, so a blend of water, lemon, turmeric and cayenne pepper just doesn’t do it for me… but I got it down me (with some moral support) and I can manage that for 8 days …. I think!

Although I am constantly smelling turmeric today, literally everywhere, I think maybe I got some up my nose.

Worst part of the day for me was the hunger in the morning. I’m always hungry in the mornings, ALWAYS, and the cleanse requires that you always leave at least 3 hrs between meals. That for me is killer in the morning. I usually start with a protein shake, shortly followed by fruit, and then sometimes even a second piece of fruit or some nuts before lunch. Not unhealthy stuff, but constant snacking and this cleanse is designed to allow your system time to breathe and refresh itself.

I won't lie, I was pretty moany until lunch today.

Having said that it’s already close to 8 in the evening and I’m not feeling any real tiredness from the early start, if anything I feel fuller and more alert than usual. I’m actually eager to get myself home to do some yoga and take the pups out … which is a good a sign as any to sign off J See you tomorrow!

Learning to Listen

I’m the type of person who wants to help as much as possible. When I’m put into a situation where someone needs to talk I’m there ready and willing.

It has taken me some time to realize that, despite all my best intentions, whist I listen, I have a bad habit of always trying to “fix” the situation through offering advice or condolences. I play into my own need, and if I’m honest, my own ego that wants to ‘put things right’.

My advice and help always comes from the heart, which isn’t a bad start, but I still need to learn to listen instead of just hear.

As I delve into my Urban Zen training I have started to read and understand the importance of approaching situations lovingly and from a point of not-knowing. To take the time to really listen to people when they need to talk and to let them lead the conversation, taking note of what is not said as much as what is said, and most importantly to be okay with things not being okay.

I’ve often said during class that’s it’s perfectly okay to not be okay, to have an off day, to not feel great but still turn up and be present. The same is true of listening: it is okay to not be able to fix things, often people just need to talk and be heard.

I am slowly practicing the art of listening (because I believe it is indeed an art, and one that requires much practice). To step back from my need to make things better, and just let things be, allowing myself to be present to everything that comes up and therefore give my full attention whomever needs it.

If you find yourself falling into the same trap I do, try some of the following tricks:

*        Listen without agenda: allow the speaker to talk and hold your peace, notice what comes up for you, do you feel agitated, desperate to respond? It’s all good, just take a breath and carry on listening

*        Use a “speaking stick”: if you find, as I do, that you often interrupt to offer council, use a physical object to pass between yourself and the speaker. Allow them to determine when they want to hear your advice and when they just need a friend

*        Hold eye-contact: even when someone is opening up about a difficult or traumatic experience that you cannot change or fix, the intimacy of eye-contact can provide so much more solace than words

*        If you’re unsure, just ask: ask what the speaker needs. Do they want your opinions or do they just need to release a little?

*        Mind your energy: if you find that you are always on the receiving end make sure that you have your own outlets. If it feels like a draining, bad relationship where you are being used because you listen well – protect yourself by explaining clearly what you can and cannot provide. Be mindful of how much time and energy you are willing to spend and communicate that. Protect yourself so you avoid feeling overwrought and used which often leads to a need to find a ‘quick fix’ so you can move on. Remember that bringing bad energy into a relationship, no matter how well-intentioned, is more dangerous than no energy.

*        Do your best: no more, no less. You will have bad days, tired days, you will slip up and talk over people and interrupt, just keep coming back to your heart and try again, learning a little more each time.

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.Winston Churchill

Mini Moon: Set Your Goals

The Full Wolf Moon rises tonight, and even though it's a mini-moon it is, as with every full moon, a powerful night for intention setting and magic making.

Take a few moments this evening to work out your goals for the next 4 weeks. What do you want to achieve, how are you going to achieve it and what are you willing to give up to achieve it?

Grab a pen and paper and find a peaceful cosy spot.

Sit quietly for a few minutes. Imagine yourself having already achieved your goals. Pay attention to how you feel, to what the accomplishment will bring you. After playing out this scenario a few times write down everything you experienced.

Know tonight that seeing truly is believing. If you can imagine your success it can and will be accomplished.

Dream. Believe. Act. Succeed.

Want to know a little more about the moon names and meanings? Check out The Farmers' Almanac:

Full Wolf Moon – January. Amid the cold and deep snows of midwinter, the wolf packs howled hungrily outside Indian villages. Thus, the name for January’s full Moon. Sometimes it was also referred to as the Old Moon, or the Moon After Yule. Some called it the Full Snow Moon, but most tribes applied that name to the next Moon. - http://www.farmersalmanac.com/full-moon-names/

Organized Spontaneity

As a child I always wanted to be spontaneous.

I wanted to do whatever, whenever. There was something magical about having no rules, and always being left to your own devices.

Throughout my teens and early twenties I upheld the believe that the bohemian life was the only life for me - I just needed to find a way to break the ties of bills, education and that dreaded word RESPONSIBILITY so that I could float around like the ethereal fairy all day long.

I've come to realize though. I really like routine. I like the ties that bind - friendships, family, community. All these things come with a fixed space, with communication, networking and some degree of organization and time-keeping. Your friends, for example, will only be good friends for so long if you continue to break your dates, forget to return their calls and check in on them because you're just "so out there".

The more I move around, the more I've found that I quickly like to set up social circles through routine... through finding a regular class schedule, making regular plans, and in that space, that place of organization, dependency, trust - that's where the spontaneity shines and seems magical.

I love to plan my days and have my sh*t together. I always pay my bills on time, my house is always clean, I walk my dogs at regular intervals, I'm not late for work, and I structure my days around working time, fun time, working out etc. It keeps me in a routine which allows me to pack my days to the max. I have found time to have a full time job, time to pursue my passion and heart in the studio (teaching, training and practicing), time to raise 2 happy, healthy adopted dogs, time to travel, time to build loving relationships and time to look after myself and keep myself healthy.

For me, the more structured I am, the more freed I feel. Getting stuff done when it needs to be done creates that oh so sort after commodity TIME. And alongside that time, I have built the funds to play with it and a social circle to play with.

So next time you're feeling like part of the rat race, remember that balance is key. It's okay to have a regular 9-5 and to enjoy it, it doesn't make you any less spiritual. It's okay to enjoy familiarity and routine, it doesn't make you any less open-hearted. It's okay to be organized and in control, it doesn't make you any less interesting.

Life is about balance.

You need to have the routine to recognize and appreciate the spontaneous adventure; after all, if you're on one long trip it would start to feel ... well... routine.