Slow Down

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. ~ Moliere

  

Exhale.

Pause.

Exhale again. 

Do you feel what’s left?

Are we in such a rush these days that we only do things “just enough”, even down to our breath, leaving behind toxins and tension instead of fully releasing and surrendering?

Watching videos of 30 minute yoga sequences compressed to fit on Instagram feels jarring to me. Yes the flow is exotic, the bodies are beautiful, the postures challenging, but something key is missing.

The long nourishing inhale; the sweet slow exhale.

Do these key elements of the practice just take too long for social media to bear? I wonder how this rush, the need for faster, quicker, better, in the information superhighway that takes up more and more of our “leisure time” is impacting our reality...

In an age of 15 second videos and 144 characters have we forgotten how to completely let go?

I am not downplaying social media at all, I love to keep up with distant friends and family via Facebook, to gain inspiration from other yogis on Instagram, heck I even blog once in a while. What I need to know is that the practice isn't becoming a means to a cool 'selfie', that the ever increasing group of athletic awesome yogis is using it to move toward balance, and not just toward the next arm balance.

I see it more and more in class, some sort of staccato march from one posture to the next. Witnessing students muscle in and out as quickly as possible as though it were a check list they had to complete. It’s time to refocus on the stillness, externally and internally. To relish in the realization that within stillness so much is changing and growing; physically yes, but importantly mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Put simply, I’d rather see 15 seconds of a simple transition from Warrior I to Warrior II, with breath, with control, than a compressed 30 minute practice showing off your most complex transitions. That’s not to say don’t show me your 30 minutes, just know that I’m okay watching it in real-time, I’m okay spending 30 minutes learning from you.

I want to see you go slow, take your time, lavish in the detail of what you’re doing and most of all, breathe.

Live the questions...

Yoga raises more questions than it answers.

Why can’t I put my foot behind my head yet? 

Why am I scared of inversions? 

How do I align my hips in half moon? 

What is the point of Ujjayi breath? 

Why do get angry in Half Pigeon?

It can be irritating and unnerving, especially in a society where we are expected to be, and are rewarded for being, decisive, knowledgeable and forthright. 

However, when we pause and we begin to practice within those questions our practice grows. Instead of forcing a pose, when we ask what’s going on and take the time to breathe and be okay with not really knowing, something magic happens and we find that it gets easier and before we know it we’re in a place we never expected to be.

Similarly, off the mat, when we begin to live the questions we begin to investigate ourselves and we get to know ourselves on a deeper, more authentic level.

Remember the last time you met someone new, perhaps a first date or a job interview – those times are all filled with questions. Often the true answers don’t come until much later when you really experience that person, that relationship, that job.  You find the things you love over time, the quirks, the annoying habits that you’d be lost without, the short cuts and organization you need.

In the same way, life unfolds itself slowly to us, but for some reason we stop asking the questions. We start to believe we know it all.

Just for today allow yourself to challenge that:  ask every question, live every question. Stop preempting the answer, be safe in the knowledge that it will come in time, but for now investigate, experiment and play in the unknown.

As Deepak Chopra says “Accept what you do not know and what you do not know you do not know”. Breathe into those spaces, and in that place of intrigue, of mystery, of magic, find the fullness of life. Return to your childlike innocence where the wonder and the wild things are, the places where everything is new, surprising and fantastic. Let go of the “I know” of the ego and be okay with the “I wonder”. In this place … in the questions … truly anything is possible

Prepare to be Stressed

There are so many misconceptions about yoga, I've heard most of them and I'm not ashamed to say I held a fair number of them myself. But by far and large the most populated myth is that yoga is all about flexible people just relaxing and stretching.

Don't get me wrong, you can find classes that focus entirely on rest and relaxation, truly wonderful, much needed classes; but in the West the majority of yoga studios focus on a lively, fast-paced "cardio" version of Vinyasa or Ashtanga yoga. Why there is still such a widely held misconception I don't know, but I do think it is important to address if you are about to take your first yoga class, or perhaps if you've fallen into a rut with your current yoga practice.

Without even getting into the fact that the physical postures are only a tiny slither of a yoga practice, it is crucial to remember that yoga is about balance.

Literal balance (because yes, a fair amount of class is spent on 1 leg, or your hands or even your head), but more importantly balance of the body, balance of the emotions and balance of the mind. Finding that place where you are both flexible and strong, where you are calm and focused and where you are committed but unattached.

Why then, when we are trying to achieve a more peaceful, balanced state would we put ourselves under any level of stress? Why has the West developed such a love and yearning for the flows and fusions? Part of this, I'm sure, is down to our very nature. Life is so fast paced that we are conditioned from such a young age to "keep up", to never get left behind. We are reprimanded for being lazy when we're perceived to quiet or still and we are reminded that the first across the finishing post gets the gold. Yoga in the West has adapted to us, it gives us what we want whilst at the same time quietly nudging us toward what we need. You can walk into any good studio for a work out, and leave feeling like a different person; in a way that rarely happens after 60 mins on the treadmill.

Yoga helps us to understand that we can and often do benefit from a certain level of 'stress'. Without well-placed physical stress we cannot develop healthy muscles and joints. Yet, at the same time it opens our eyes to undue stress and it allows us, no, it encourages us, to back off, to breathe, to create space and calm. To find balance.

We come to our mats to practice under controlled stress. As our bodies physically open and strengthen those stresses change from the physical to the mental. We learn to stand on one leg, to trust our own bodies, and to breathe, and as we do so, we learn how to handle difficult situations without unnecessary discomfort during our day-to-day lives. I mean, if you can smile during Warrior III or Bound Half-Moon, then you can smile when you forgot to save your work and your PC crashed.

It's like learning to hold your breathe under water: at first it seems terrifying and all you can think about is clinging to those last few seconds of oxygen before you resurface. But practiced time and time again you start to enjoy the feeling of suspension, trusting that the emptiness and airlessness is only temporary and relishing in the moment of silence and stillness.

When I find myself gritting my teeth in class and wishing the pose to be over I bring myself back to that thought of stillness, back to the realization that those moments where I skirt the edge of my abilities - those are the moments when all the magic starts to happen. My body strengthens, my breath deepens and my mind relaxes.

And, just when you get attached to your the flow and fusion, when you feel comfortable in the heart of a room full of sweaty yogis, you are well advised to return to the yin. To find the quiet, deep relaxation, to take all that you have learnt from being upside-down inside and to sit with it while it bubbles over with thoughts and emotions and feelings that have been waiting for you. To apply your ability to breathe and to smile in twisted triangle pose, to the stuff that really matters, to you, to your heart.

To find balance.
To find peace.

Climb climb climb

I read a beautiful article today in which Baron Baptiste describes yoga on and off the mat as ascending a peak with multiple pitches. What a perfect visual.

Successful climbers don't just wake up and start walking up a hill, they plan and prepare.

(1) Pick your peak: What is your goal? What are you trying to achieve?

(2) Plan: There's balance in there. Too much planning and you can get caught up in details and stuck on this idea of perfection ... not enough and you go in blind. Allow yourself time to figure out what it is you want, what you're aiming for, what you're willing to do and, importantly, what you are willing to give up to achieve your goals. And then relax, be prepared to be flexible and open-minded both on the journey and to the outcome.

(3) Check your gear: know yourself. Know what makes you tick, what makes you vulnerable, what your strengths are. On the mat it is always crucial to know where you may be strong, where flexible, where weak and where inflexible, only when you know that can you safely approach each posture without risk of injury. Off the mat this is equally critical - knowing your limits so that you can skirt them, press them, challenge them without throwing yourself so far over them that you feel defeated and broken.

(4) Train: Everything is a practice, keep at it, keep trying and learn from each push

And as Baptiste says: Precision is different to Perfectionism.

When you work with precision on the mat, you will feel empowered to make positive changes in your life too. "With a mindful, conscious practice, you can connect with your personal power, your ability to change your life."
Perfectionism is rife with self-criticism and judgement. Begin to cast judgement on your pose, your practice, or yourself as 'right' or 'wrong', and the ledge you're on can expand into a never ending plateau of self-doubt.

(5) Find a guide: It's an innately human floor to be too afraid / proud / shy to ask for help. Whatever your reason - get over yourself - we all need help, we all need a guide. Whether it's a teacher(s) you love for your yoga practice or someone you can bounce ideas off and confide in, make sure you have someone to support you and nurture you. Pick your guide carefully, they must have your best interests at heart and you must trust them completely, the type of person who knows that they will grow just in the process of assisting you in being your absolute best and most successful.

(6) Start climbing: We often spend so long planning, preparing, fretting and wondering about the what ifs that we forget to get going. You're not going to get anywhere if you don't start somewhere.

(7) Keep checking in: Every step of the way. You are not static. With each challenge, each posture, each goal you start to strengthen and open certain areas of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. As certain areas grow you begin to expose new areas, which, it goes without saying, will start weaker. Be gentle with the new space. Check back with yourself - what now makes me tick, what now makes me vulnerable, what now are my strengths. Constant self-observation and self-reflection keeps us strong, motivated, honest and empowered.

(8) Trust your foundation: What is it that holds you up. Learn to trust the people, community, practices that hold you steady so that you can reach up for the next uncertain footing.

(9) Forget the peak and enjoy the scenery: Don't forget to breathe and look around you. The goal is great, the peak is the triumph, but it's a long journey and you can approach it 2 ways. You can miserably push yourself ever forward, head down, eyes on the prize. Or, you can choose to enjoy every step, every slip-up, every moment of success and failure, learning and growing always.

Don't aim to make it in one text-book journey to your goal - aim to make it a fun, full, heart-filled experience.

The two year itch...

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. - Lao Tzu 

Since I was 18 I've not stayed in one spot longer than 2 years. I've lived in the North of England, the South of England, Colorado, Texas and California in under 10 years and last month I took the plunge again and drove across country to set up shop in New York City.

As I've found with everything, moving is challenging, stressful, emotional and the doorway to some of the most amazing adventures I've had.

Having moved so often has created a strange dichotomy; on the one hand I haven't laid any roots since I lived with my parents which leaves me feeling a little detached and vulnerable, on the other I've met more amazing, unique people than otherwise possible and have build strong, lasting relationships across two continents.

As I packed up my Honda Civic and prepared to tackle the 4 day trek with my dear friend Jason (just one of the many shining stars I met in Dallas), I came to realize that "home" truly is exactly what you make it. Everything I need, everything that keeps me laughing, sane, grounded and balanced can fit into 13 cu. ft.

Home, for me, is a safe environment full of hugs and puppy kisses. It's the space I can return to where I feel myself again. I can recharge my batteries and rest.

Moving, like letting go of anything, comes with a cost. The physical loss of seeing friends, teaching classes, enjoying the CA sun is hard. The simple truth is, everything worthwhile comes at a cost. "Letting go" opens up space for development, growth and experience. And, as the old saying goes, "the more things change, the more they stay the same". I have come to notice that as I physically move and build new routines and social circles, I become more acutely aware of the friends who remain with me - regardless of time zones, distance, time apart - they are my rocks, always available at the end of the phone, always ready to comfort me when I am lonely and celebrate my success.

Letting go is different for all of us. It comes at different times but it is always one of the hardest things we can do. Whether it is a home, a job, a friendship, a lost love or a perceived sense of self we have been clinging to; releasing our grip allows us the space to breath ... the exhale that teaches us, reassuringly, that the next inhale always comes. There will always be something greater on the other side when we truly let go. There will always be constants, our buoys in the choppy sea, keeping us afloat and guiding us to our next adventure.

Just Go With It

It's been a while and a lot has been happening, lots of change in every aspect of my life (and it seems in those around me).

I found out 2 weeks ago that I was being laid off at work. Something a lot of people have had to deal with over the last few years with all the economic struggles the western world has been facing. For me, this was the first time in 12 years that I didn't have security that a pay cheque would be coming in. It's quite a strange feeling to know that everything will change and there's nothing I can do about it: "trying harder" wasn't going to change the outcome of my circumstances, I am going to lose my job...

There's something to be said for intuition, I knew that it was going to happen before it did, I guess my boss must have been giving off that vibe that day! The most surprising thing was the way the whole event affected me. I'll admit it, I had a little cry when I first heard the news. Being laid off really makes you feel like you've been fired, that you've done something wrong, that someone doesn't like you or that you haven't done your best. Despite all their reassurances that it was nothing I did, those thoughts all went through my mind. However, after calming down and talking to the best parents in the world, I started to realize that everything really does happen for a reason.

Usually I hate that phrase, people seem to use it as an excuse not to try: at the end of relationships, when they are too lazy or too scared to follow their dreams, when they won't take responsibility for something they've messed up or for someone they've hurt. This time it was a really empowering feeling. I really felt, whilst it's scary, it's really going to push me into a new chapter in my life. I was bored at my job, it wasn't by any stretch of the imagination busy or interesting enough for me, but it was easy and paid well so I never really questioned it, now I'm forced to look and I'm looking for places that really appeal to me. It also came just a few days after completing my yoga teacher training - right at the time that I wanted to focus more and more on my yoga I'm able to look for a position that will give me that flexibility.

At the end of 2011 I'd ask for changes throughout my life, I thought the big one was going to be just taking my yoga TT ... it turns out the universe has got a lot more in store for me, and by accepting that and breathing through it I know I'll end up in a stronger, happier place. Be careful what you wish for my friends, but when you ask for it don't lose faith, just go with it.