Applying yoga thought to yoga auditions

You'd think it was obvious: yoga studio owners and managers will behave in manner appropriate to the yogic path right?

Hmm, in this day and age of a studio on every corner, and yoga "corporations" popping up left, right and centre ... not so much.

You can tell a lot about a studio and their ethos by how they audition you and interact with you when applying for teaching posts. Over the past 5 months I have responded to countless posts about yoga openings across the city. Of those I responded to I've been invited to numerous auditions. As someone without any background in dance, singing or acting, I really had no pre-conceptions about attending an audition, it was a little daunting but merely because of the pressure I placed on myself to be teaching as soon as possible. What I was not expecting were the extremes of the audition experience.

My audition experiences have been diverse to say the least.
From the fantastic : welcoming, friendly one-on-one chats in a back room, subbing standing classes at a peak time or teaching a new studio owner and his partner-in-crime in his living room.

Shout out to my personal teaching spots CorePower Yoga, Shambhala Yoga & Dance, Earth Yoga NYC and Church Avenue Yoga & Bodywork Center - there's a reason I am excited to turn up at your studios to work, you make me feel like part of a community and treat me with such grace and respect, and it started right at the audition process.

   

   

To the obnoxious : 50 other students, 3 minutes a piece, trying to fit in each others flows and practice in a highly competitive, awkward environment.

To the frankly ... creepy : being asked to come take a class and being watched as I practice (from behind I'll add) along with 3 other girls, only to be ignored in the studio and emailed later to come take another class to be watched again. ... No, I did not go back.

With this in mind, whether you're a current studio owner, looking to own a studio in the future, or a teacher looking for spots here are my Yamas and Niyamas of Yoga Auditions.

For the Managers and Owners:

Practice Ahimsa (non-violence) : treat your potential teachers with respect, allow them to warm up before asking them to jump into a disjointed flow taught by other teachers, acknowledge they may be nervous. And for goodness sake acknowledge them!

Practice Satya (truth / honesty) : be honest, ALWAYS be honest. If you only intend to hire from within do not audition others to simply "fill space". Be aware that teachers may have turned down paying spots to be with you. Be honest with what you are looking for before you book the audition.

Practice Asteya (non-stealing) : Do not waste teachers' time. They are there for you, they are interested in you - do not keep them waiting and do give them fair time to demonstrate their craft. If they are auditioning you are not texting or talking (yep, I've had that experience and it left a really bad taste)

Practice Brahmacharya (moderation) : Simple. 30 teachers in a room with 2 minutes to teach is too much. You can't remember everyone, they can't take enough time to settle themselves let alone demo how wonderful they are.

Practice Aparigraha (non-hoarding) : The audition experience belongs to both you and your auditionees. As yogis we are a community, a way of life, share your thoughts so teachers can grow even if they are not right for you right now. Simple shutting the door behind a teacher and ignoring their requests for feedback is no short of rude. We're all busy, if you have too many people to respond to then look up a point!

For the Teachers:

Practice Saucha (cleanliness) : Of mind, of body and of flow. Keep it effective. Trying to do too much will make you feel nervous and that will show. Stick to what you know and teach it well, let them hear your voice. Any studio that chooses acrobatics over authenticity probably isn't going to be a fit for you (unless that's what you love, in which case, hell, go for that crazy inversion!)  Also, and this should go without saying, remember you are auditioning from the moment you step into the studio, just as you are teaching all the time not just in the yoga room, your actions and behviours leave an impression, good studios want good teachers who embody the practice on and off the mat.

Practice Santosha (contentment) : know your worth. Your time has worth. Your training has worth. Your energy and heart has worth. Trust that the right studio will recognize that and be okay waiting for them.

Practice Tapas (heat) : BRING IT! Don't turn up half-hearted. Be there and show them how completely brilliant you are.

Practice Svadhyaya (self-study) : Be honest about how you did, be honest about whether the studio is a fit for you. This is, after all, as much an audition for the manager as it is for you. As for feedback and take it graciously.

Practice Ishvara Pranidhara (surrender) : Let go. If you've done your work, trust that the right studio will hire you. This is an age crying out for healing - your light will shine.

"There's nothing to fear but fear itself"... at least so they say.

 Recently I've been talking to my students a lot about facing our fears, believing in ourselves and striving for success. It raised a question in my mind - why do we fear? or more accurately what do we fear? What changes as we grow and age that takes our natural positive energy and 'can do' attitude and turns us into pessimistic, fearful, introverts?

The answer is obvious right? Failure. We learn over the years the pain of failure, so we fear that feeling and begin to back off. But the more I dig into this in my life, I don't believe that is the case. The fear of failure is very easy to rationalize, we can safely say we will not try something because of all the things that could go wrong, all the things that may have gone wrong in the past, or we have seen others go through, however, there is a deeper desire in all of us that would quickly overcome that fear if that really was the root of our hesitation.

I believe the answer is a much harder one for us to face, it is an answer that raises so many other questions and commentary on our true selves that we shy away from it. We are not scared of failure, rather, we are scared of success.

Bare with me, I know you're thinking that that's just plain crazy, how could you be scared of getting exactly what you're looking for.... but this is where the questions start to crop up.

How do we know what we are truly looking for? What if we've got it wrong?
Over the years we have experienced our changing desires and dreams. What if this latest goal changes next week? What if we put so much work into something and then find that we change our minds again? As humans we are fickle, there are so many options open to us, so many distractions in our daily lives, it's hard to listen to our deepest desires and really know if they are ours. 
Underneath all the noise though, there is a quite knowledge that something is right. It may well change in the future, and that's okay, but right now, in this moment, it is the right thing for us, and we should strive toward that.

What happens when we reach our goal? What is left? Do we just stop? What if the success we have dreamed of isn't all it's cracked up to be?
I call this Boxing Day Syndrome and it is the one that rings most true to me. Boxing Day (the day after Christmas for my American lovelies not aware of our bizarre British naming conventions) has reportedly been named "the most boring day of the year". Remember the month of December as a child? All that expectation. Every day opening up your advent calendar (is that yet another British tradition?) and knowing that Santa is 1 day closer. Then it's here, the presents, the cartoons on the telly and too many sweets to even talk about, it is the best of best days. And the next day .... it's all done. BDS sets in. The idea of waiting another 364 days for that joy again is almost crippling. Boxing Day sucks.
Achieving our goals can feel so much like that.
I dreamt for years of moving overseas, my destination changed many times (sometimes depending on what movie I'd just seen, sometimes depending on who I had the latest crush on), but at my core I knew I wanted to travel. When I moved to the US in 2007 I hit a wall. I'd done it. But it didn't feel great. I felt homesick, work was hard and I didn't really know what I was working toward any more, what was the point? I felt like I was just ticking down the hours, paying the bills and I didn't know what was left to do.

What if we're successful and others are not?
That dirty feeling is hard to shift, especially when you are looking at people you love, your friends, your family. The hard truth is, you are not responsible for them. As much as we like to believe, as our ego tells us, that we are the central point in everyone else's life, that everyone revolves around us, we are only responsible for ourselves and our own journey. Others will take what they want in terms of inspiration, jealousy, support, but we do not control that.

What if our success takes us out of our current comfort zone? Who do we leave behind? What is waiting for us behind the door of success?
Success, by it's very nature, means we have to leave something behind. We transition, we grow, we learn and in that process we move on, if we're lucky the people we love most dearly grow with us and walk alongside us, but more often then not we have to leave people behind. It's terrifying. Letting go of what we know, walking into the dark...
This can only be answered with another question - if you were happy in your current space, would you even be looking, thinking, dreaming of anything else?

Take the leap.

The truth is, all these fears are real, rational, and can and probably will aspire to some degree, but the deeper truth is, that success doesn't mean we've reached the end of our journey. There really is no end, there is always another goal, another rung on the ladder that we're climbing. 

Life doesn't end when you achieve your goals, it just gets a little better and you strive to make it better still.

Just as in our asana practice, we continually strive to make each posture more complete, there is always somewhere else to go. There is always a muscle to engage, a bone to align, a breath to deepen. The same is true in life. You can strive to find the perfect relationship, land your perfect partner and still strive to make that relationship stronger, happier and more complete every day. You can find the job of your dreams and still work every day to do your best and shine in your role.

For me personally, I found yoga. Yoga taught me that my move to the US was just a chapter in my book. Once I realized that I found new passions, I found new hobbies and most importantly new goals. I've moved around physically and emotionally a lot, now I seek stability; I've moved around the corporate world, now I start my journey into the healing arts and I have found a burning desire to, and with it a knack at, bringing this to others. Now I have re-discovered that feeling that my life has only just begun, that I have so much to experience, to learn and to try, I feel more clueless today then ever and it's the greatest feeling, to approach life in the knowledge that you really know nothing but it's all there for the taking.

Let go of the goals and start to enjoy the journey, remembering we are only truly alive when we are moving, learning, growing.

It is okay to be successful, let go of the ego that tells you "no", push to be the absolute best that you possibly can be, the perfect expression of you, and enjoy the feeling when you achieve that. Live for those moments, when you scale a peak and look down at how far you've come and celebrate; let your success shine, let your heart fill with joy, and be an inspiration to everyone you meet. Then, take a deep breath, steady yourself, and look up, for there are far more peaks to climb.

My Om is better than your Om

"Is the healing you do physical as well as everything else?"

"the three dimensions, are but one. and that, we are. so most definitely. yet the right answer to that question is however its best received by a specific audience in linear time. ya know what I mean?"

a-sphincter-say-what?!
This is an actual exert from a conversation I had with a friend of mine not too long ago. Now, as a disclaimer, I really like this guy, he's always been very sweet to me, but this was a perfect example of that occasion you try to turn to someone for help and they make you feel so confused and ridiculous that you just back off.

We've all met them right? That guy or gal who thinks they're just so much more zen then you. They look at you with those pitying eyes when you explain you're really enjoying your yoga practice and say something banal like "oh my dear, what you're doing is just an asana practice, true yoga runs so much deeper...".

Don't get me wrong, I know there's a whole lot more to this yoga lark than just a physical practice and I actively work every day to incorporate yoga into all aspects of my life (believe me - it ain't always easy living in LA in 2012, so it's definitely a "practice"). Nonetheless, I try to keep my spiritual and lifestyle opinions to myself unless I am directly asked. Okay okay - that's not strictly true - my ever patient boyfriend and my closest friends do have to put up with me offering my advice whenever I see fit, but that's what they're there for right?! (I'm sure they all gave a big sigh of relief when I finally joined my Teacher Training group and found like-minded yogis who were happy to chat with me all day about doshas and the best asana for a head cold ;)) In general though, I try to honour other people's space and journey, if someone chats to me about it I am really happy to talk and share my personal experiences, suggest books to read, places to visit etc, but I try to respect where they are and what they are looking for, rather than try to push where I believe someone should be.

When I first started yoga I really wasn't looking for anything other than a new style of work out. For me that's all I thought I needed. I was lucky to have a friend that introduced me to yoga and pushed nothing, she was obviously happy, healthy and content and could see that yoga would eventually get me to that stage too, but she did nothing more than suggest I take a class, the rest was up to me. The CorePower Yoga studio suited me perfectly. It looked and felt like a gym - clean, bright and modern - and the teacher didn't try to tell me to "drop into a meditative state", instead he told me to breathe and push it during the core series. The mental and emotional benefits took time for me and I was glad to be able to do this at my own pace. When I approached my friend or one of the teachers about why I felt overwhelmed during half-pigeon they were there to talk to me and help me and they never made me feel anything but secure and safe.

Sadly, that can't be said about everyone I've come across. I've been told on numerous occasions that if I were a true yogi I would be vegan, or that I wouldn't touch alcohol, I've even been told that I couldn't possibly expect to have any sort of spiritual understanding unless I meditate for at least 2-3 hours a day. Well, bugger that! I enjoy cheese pizza and beer far too much and, whilst I'd love to have the time for a regular meditation practice, I also have a full time job and friends, a work-out routine, a puppy and a relationship.

So, here's my advice (whether you asked for it or not :)), you are exactly where you are supposed to be. If you want to know more about yoga then ask someone you trust and love and don't listen to the oh-so-perfect yogis who make you feel like you're at the bottom of the totem pole. More than likely your own yoga practice is actually much clearer and more honest. Think about it this way, if you're really happy with your relationship do you feel the need to shout about it and tell other people how happy you are and how they could possibly achieve such a great boyfriend or girlfriend too? No, more than likely you're so happy you don't have time to preach to others. The same goes for yoga, if you feel someone is judging you for not being as "perfect" as them, just brush it off, they're fighting their own demons. That guy sitting in the lotus position, eyes closed, smiling wryly and shaking his head at your "naive" question about the meaning of Om has much more to deal with than he probably realizes. Walk away and find someone who can really help you.

And to this end, keeping a sense of your own intuition keeps you safe, trust yourself and you will avoid these awkward situations, and importantly those groups or individuals who prey on the open hearts and minds of yogis (unfortunately there are some not so great people out there). Listen to your gut, if something feels off it usually is. And if you're not sure what it's telling you, talk to someone you've trusted for a long time, or someone within a known and respected studio.

Don't ever be made to feel that you're silly for asking a question or that you could never be a "true" yogi because you like to watch Glee and eat a gallon of ice cream on a Tuesday night. Being a yogi is about being the best you that you can possibly be, yoga recognizes any path to an open heart and joyous spirit and it is non-judgmental. Hell, if Robert Downey Jr can be a yogi after all his mischief there's hope for us all!

And if you ever feel hurt or embarrassed by someone's reaction - try to remember this and I guarantee you'll giggle every time.

Testy test-outs

What a weekend!!
Friday started with our CPR Heartsaver class (that brought back some memories after 18months with the AHA!), and a panic over the upcoming written test. Then Saturday was such a high: really amazing "Friends and Family" class where we all taught a couple of postures, followed by the written which was way easier than expected. Then today our final test out. The sheer highs of the weekend, along with the nerves and excitement was overwhelming. It's a crazy feeling to know I've completed something I've poured my heart and soul into for the last 8 weeks.

So what have I learnt?
Firstly - I feel more at home teaching a class and working with people's energy than I have been doing anything else before :) Most importantly, I learnt that my own self-judgments often hold me back. At the start of the course I was worried that people were laughing or gossiping about me. In the past that would have lead to me backing off and not performing to my best, for the first time it actually spurred me to work harder. I needed to prove to myself that I had tried my absolute best whatever the outcome, and I needed to step out of my own judgments. Its true that more often than not the judgements we feel others are passing are our own insecurities and ego screaming at us.
And, although there have been so many lessons over the last 8 weeks, with all the emotions this weekend it seems pertinent to note that I learnt it's okay to be emotional and it's okay to ask for help. I have often tried to hide my true feelings, I suppose I've worried that I'll be seen as weak or that I'll be adding to someone else's troubles. This weekend, particularly tonight, I realised that sometimes you need to be completely honest about what you are feeling and why. Only by doing that was I able to get over it and move on. It's perfectly okay to cry and let everything out, it helps us clear our hearts for the positive emotions we aim to embrace.

Yoga encourages us to do this by physically opening our hips and hearts and preparing us for the mental and emotional release (I bet I'm not the only one to have cried in half pigeon or wanted to scream in camel), but we need to be ready for that next layer. It you feel overwhelmed remember that emotions don't last forever. If you're feeling hurt then cry, scream, shout, then let it go. Don't carry it around with you allowing it to cloud your every decision and action. If it's an option, talk to the people who have hurt you - but be honest, with them and with yourselves (this is how I feel... But I realise I am over stressed / anxious etc). Remember that those who mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind (thanks Dr Suess for that one!). If that's not an option just let it go, what's the point of holding on to events you can't change, let it go and do what makes you happy, whether that's following your dream to become a yoga teacher or snuggling with you pup on a Sunday night watching Mannequin .... Which is exactly what I'm gonna do right now!

Namaste b*****s ;)