Prepare to be Stressed

There are so many misconceptions about yoga, I've heard most of them and I'm not ashamed to say I held a fair number of them myself. But by far and large the most populated myth is that yoga is all about flexible people just relaxing and stretching.

Don't get me wrong, you can find classes that focus entirely on rest and relaxation, truly wonderful, much needed classes; but in the West the majority of yoga studios focus on a lively, fast-paced "cardio" version of Vinyasa or Ashtanga yoga. Why there is still such a widely held misconception I don't know, but I do think it is important to address if you are about to take your first yoga class, or perhaps if you've fallen into a rut with your current yoga practice.

Without even getting into the fact that the physical postures are only a tiny slither of a yoga practice, it is crucial to remember that yoga is about balance.

Literal balance (because yes, a fair amount of class is spent on 1 leg, or your hands or even your head), but more importantly balance of the body, balance of the emotions and balance of the mind. Finding that place where you are both flexible and strong, where you are calm and focused and where you are committed but unattached.

Why then, when we are trying to achieve a more peaceful, balanced state would we put ourselves under any level of stress? Why has the West developed such a love and yearning for the flows and fusions? Part of this, I'm sure, is down to our very nature. Life is so fast paced that we are conditioned from such a young age to "keep up", to never get left behind. We are reprimanded for being lazy when we're perceived to quiet or still and we are reminded that the first across the finishing post gets the gold. Yoga in the West has adapted to us, it gives us what we want whilst at the same time quietly nudging us toward what we need. You can walk into any good studio for a work out, and leave feeling like a different person; in a way that rarely happens after 60 mins on the treadmill.

Yoga helps us to understand that we can and often do benefit from a certain level of 'stress'. Without well-placed physical stress we cannot develop healthy muscles and joints. Yet, at the same time it opens our eyes to undue stress and it allows us, no, it encourages us, to back off, to breathe, to create space and calm. To find balance.

We come to our mats to practice under controlled stress. As our bodies physically open and strengthen those stresses change from the physical to the mental. We learn to stand on one leg, to trust our own bodies, and to breathe, and as we do so, we learn how to handle difficult situations without unnecessary discomfort during our day-to-day lives. I mean, if you can smile during Warrior III or Bound Half-Moon, then you can smile when you forgot to save your work and your PC crashed.

It's like learning to hold your breathe under water: at first it seems terrifying and all you can think about is clinging to those last few seconds of oxygen before you resurface. But practiced time and time again you start to enjoy the feeling of suspension, trusting that the emptiness and airlessness is only temporary and relishing in the moment of silence and stillness.

When I find myself gritting my teeth in class and wishing the pose to be over I bring myself back to that thought of stillness, back to the realization that those moments where I skirt the edge of my abilities - those are the moments when all the magic starts to happen. My body strengthens, my breath deepens and my mind relaxes.

And, just when you get attached to your the flow and fusion, when you feel comfortable in the heart of a room full of sweaty yogis, you are well advised to return to the yin. To find the quiet, deep relaxation, to take all that you have learnt from being upside-down inside and to sit with it while it bubbles over with thoughts and emotions and feelings that have been waiting for you. To apply your ability to breathe and to smile in twisted triangle pose, to the stuff that really matters, to you, to your heart.

To find balance.
To find peace.

Just one thing

I can't tell you the number of times I've heard in class "spread your fingers wide, it will remove the pressure from your wrists". I know it's true, I've been trying it for the last 4 years. I even say it repeatedly when I teach my friends: "spread them like starfish" seems to be on repeat these days. Today, the amazing mini Milena said something a little different. "Spread your fingers wide", yeh yeh yeh heard it, "and press into the pads of your fingers", huh?! Press into the pads of my fingers? That's new! So I tried it. Suddenly the muscles in my arms engaged, my thighs engaged, even my core. (And yep, the weight really did come out of my wrists).

Such a small change impacted so much, it relieved pressure, brought integrity to my posture, and my muscles started working smart (rather than just hard). It got me thinking how those small changes really make a huge difference.

I used to be a classic yo-yo dieter. I would go on huge health kicks, losing a ton of weight, then slip back into bad habits and pile it all back on. Over the last few years I've taken a more gentle approach with myself, slowly introducing a regular work out routine, led to me eventually practicing an hour of yoga and a little cardio a day. Then, without even realizing it, I found myself shying away from fast foods and sweets and enjoying fruit as a snack. My body started to tell me that caffeine is just not a friend of mine. It makes me anxious and unhappy. I even stopped drinking pop (which I was pretty much addicted to) and started to enjoy komboucha .... seriously, fermented tea, are you kidding me?!

I think the small changes allow you to really feel what's going on, whether it's physical, mental or emotional. They don't give you quick, dramatic results but they're so easy to make that you stick with them and form habits. Habits that can filter out into so many areas of your life that overtime you find yourself happier and healthier. The change is so gentle there's not shock to the system and your body and mind can really tell you what it needs rather than blindly following someone's orders to eat nothing but bacon and watermelon or sit in a sweatbox until you pass out (if you didn't catch it in 2010 three people died trying to follow someone else's path to enlightenment and not listening to their intuition http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37626688/ns/dateline_nbc/t/deadly-retreat/)

Am I going to eat nothing but green beans and tofu, ummm no, clearly you've not been reading my blog, but have I dramatically improved my diet - yes -and I feel better every day (and more able to make further small changes). Did I, in one yoga class, perfect my chataranga? Nope, that's gonna take me a whiles yet, but I felt something very significant change with the slightest movement, and now I've felt it I can go back to that point and work from there each time I practice, engaging my core more, strengthening more and protecting more, eventually I will have that beautiful low plank ... you'll all hear about it when I get there!

Make a small change, whether it's diet and exercise, relaxing with a past time you've always wanted to enjoy or removing a little of the drama from your life. Take a time check of where you're at right now, and revisit in a few months. You'll be surprised of the changes that have occurred.

My path

In the Spring of 2009 I was overweight, unfit, stressed at work and miserable. My friends and I, all feeling the same levels of stress and unhappiness at work, decided to take a "biggest loser" challenge with each other. After a couple of weeks it was pretty obvious I wasn't doing well, I couldn't stick to the diet and I wasn't enjoying the gym.

My dear friend Magda (when you think of the perfect yogini you think of Magda: slim, blonde, radiant, dedicated and always ready with an inspiration quote and kind word - the kind of girl I've always looked up to) suggested I change things up and join her in a yoga class. The idea positively terrified me - what would a girl like me do in a class full of peace-loving, tofu-eating size 0s who can twist themselves into a pretzel?! They would shun me? I'd feel completely out of place! Nonetheless, I gave her my word I would "at least try" and, if nothing else, I'm a woman of my word...

I turned up at the Corepower Boulder South studio armed with my borrowed mat, bottle of water and all my judgments and ... I was completely surprised. The studio definitely had it's share of gorgeous slender women in skimpy bright outfits, but, rather than feeling they were giggling at me, I felt welcomed. Now, don't get me wrong, I've come across plenty of "holier than thou" yoga students in my time, we'll talk about that another time. From the staff behind the front desk, to the girls chatting in the locker room, everyone smiled warmly and continued about their business, they didn't point and laugh, or question why someone like me would be in their sacred space.

I took a deep breath and stepped into the large mirrored studio, sat myself at the back of the room and waited for class to begin. The class was challenging, but broken down in simple terms, and a real workout. I left feeling stretched, sweaty and buzzed. That week I returned 4 times, between you, me and the internet, it didn't hurt that the teacher was super cute!!
Over my next few months I signed up on the monthly plan and took up a regular practice. The weight seemed to drop off me (boy did it need to!), my fitness and flexibility increased and my stress levels dropped. It was hard to deny that this yoga stuff really did work.

Unfortunately, I was relocated with my job down to Dallas and all my good work went out the window. I started well and found a great studio in Uptown that I loved. However, as I started to travel, and the pressure from my boss mounted up, and I started to find excuse after excuse for not practicing. By the end of 2010 things came to a head, my health, relationship and happiness were broken, I had no grounding and no peace and I was, to be frank, turning into a bit of a bitch. I'm a true believer that the universe offers you what you need, and after some pretty major shake ups I sat up and started to listen. Life was screaming at me to make a change, make a change now before I truly lose myself in the daily crap that I was burying myself under.

It was tough but little by little I made some changes. Firstly, I found a new studio in North Dallas and I got back into my practice, slowly but surely I started to feel better about myself and I was able to reassess my priorities and choices. Within a few months an opportunity to move back West to LA arose.

I quit the long hours and low pay and humidity and moved to the city where a Size 2 is considered fat. Now I'd got a few things in check it was time to sort out my lifestyle. That's pretty much where you meet me...

I found Corepower here in LA and picked up a couple of hours a week. It didn't take long to realize that the time spent in the studio was giving me a sense of happiness and confidence that I so desperately needed. Over the next couple of months I really cleaned out my life, I started with the emotional baggage and cut some of the crap and drama out that I'd been clinging too, and in February this year I made the leap into teaching yoga.

My hope is that I can inspire others the way my yoga teachers and practice inspires me on a daily basis, to be the best person I can be, to be happy, healthy and positive.
I'm not your typical "skinny mini" in a bra top and short shorts, but I'm working on it. It's a challenge to get up off the couch to go to the studio, and it's hard not to pick up the phone and order a pizza every night, but it's one that I know is worth it. The way I feel after class, the way my body is changing and my mind and emotions are responding is amazing.

This is my story...