Dare to dream BIG

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

On Friday night I had one of the most beautiful dreams. So peaceful and simple I was photographing a kaleidoscope of small purple butterflies. (What a beautiful name for a group of butterflies … a kaleidoscope).  All the while the rain was lightly falling but the sun was shining through allowing the brightest rainbow to form over me.

I woke on Saturday refreshed, calm and filled with passion and drive, sublime timing for the kick-off of my Level One Urban Zen Integrative Therapy course.

The weekend panned to be powerful and transformative, jumping in with both feet again into the fountain of healing knowledge … dipping my toes always seems the sensible route but never satisfies my thirst. I feel like my eyes have been opened  to truths my heart has known for some time. The path for me is clearer every day, not easy and definitely not short nor full of surprises, but clearer and more tantalizing than ever before. To hone my knowledge and my skills, to allow my heart to burst open and truly vesslefy the power that is all around us and within each of us to, simply put, make things a little better.

Out of intrigue I looked up some dream interpretations:

The rainbow is also seen as a bridge between your earthly, grounded self and the higher, spiritual self. ~ www.dreammoods.com

The butterfly most commonly is a symbol of transformation. … Taking all of this into consideration it is easy to see that dreaming of a butterfly may mark the beginning of a transformation in your waking life. …Butterflies are also a symbol of spirituality. Many times when a dreamer dreams of butterflies around them, or of observing them, it means that in their waking life they are on the verge of a deep spiritual journey, full of new awareness and possibilities. ~ http://contributor.yahoo.com/user/9341/sincerity_anna.html

Prepare to be Stressed

There are so many misconceptions about yoga, I've heard most of them and I'm not ashamed to say I held a fair number of them myself. But by far and large the most populated myth is that yoga is all about flexible people just relaxing and stretching.

Don't get me wrong, you can find classes that focus entirely on rest and relaxation, truly wonderful, much needed classes; but in the West the majority of yoga studios focus on a lively, fast-paced "cardio" version of Vinyasa or Ashtanga yoga. Why there is still such a widely held misconception I don't know, but I do think it is important to address if you are about to take your first yoga class, or perhaps if you've fallen into a rut with your current yoga practice.

Without even getting into the fact that the physical postures are only a tiny slither of a yoga practice, it is crucial to remember that yoga is about balance.

Literal balance (because yes, a fair amount of class is spent on 1 leg, or your hands or even your head), but more importantly balance of the body, balance of the emotions and balance of the mind. Finding that place where you are both flexible and strong, where you are calm and focused and where you are committed but unattached.

Why then, when we are trying to achieve a more peaceful, balanced state would we put ourselves under any level of stress? Why has the West developed such a love and yearning for the flows and fusions? Part of this, I'm sure, is down to our very nature. Life is so fast paced that we are conditioned from such a young age to "keep up", to never get left behind. We are reprimanded for being lazy when we're perceived to quiet or still and we are reminded that the first across the finishing post gets the gold. Yoga in the West has adapted to us, it gives us what we want whilst at the same time quietly nudging us toward what we need. You can walk into any good studio for a work out, and leave feeling like a different person; in a way that rarely happens after 60 mins on the treadmill.

Yoga helps us to understand that we can and often do benefit from a certain level of 'stress'. Without well-placed physical stress we cannot develop healthy muscles and joints. Yet, at the same time it opens our eyes to undue stress and it allows us, no, it encourages us, to back off, to breathe, to create space and calm. To find balance.

We come to our mats to practice under controlled stress. As our bodies physically open and strengthen those stresses change from the physical to the mental. We learn to stand on one leg, to trust our own bodies, and to breathe, and as we do so, we learn how to handle difficult situations without unnecessary discomfort during our day-to-day lives. I mean, if you can smile during Warrior III or Bound Half-Moon, then you can smile when you forgot to save your work and your PC crashed.

It's like learning to hold your breathe under water: at first it seems terrifying and all you can think about is clinging to those last few seconds of oxygen before you resurface. But practiced time and time again you start to enjoy the feeling of suspension, trusting that the emptiness and airlessness is only temporary and relishing in the moment of silence and stillness.

When I find myself gritting my teeth in class and wishing the pose to be over I bring myself back to that thought of stillness, back to the realization that those moments where I skirt the edge of my abilities - those are the moments when all the magic starts to happen. My body strengthens, my breath deepens and my mind relaxes.

And, just when you get attached to your the flow and fusion, when you feel comfortable in the heart of a room full of sweaty yogis, you are well advised to return to the yin. To find the quiet, deep relaxation, to take all that you have learnt from being upside-down inside and to sit with it while it bubbles over with thoughts and emotions and feelings that have been waiting for you. To apply your ability to breathe and to smile in twisted triangle pose, to the stuff that really matters, to you, to your heart.

To find balance.
To find peace.

It's the final countdown...

Not really, I’m all done, but who doesn't love that earworm!

So – I survived!  And honestly … I feel amazing.

Results:

• *        More energy
• *        Brighter skin and eyes
• *        9lbs down
• *        More focused and calm
• *        Resting better
• *        Cleansed palette – food tastes better
• *        Weirder dreams!!

Coming off the juice but retaining a couple days officially in the cleanse really was a brilliant way of easing back into “regular” life. Having to still keep track has helped me manage what I’m eating on the other side of allowing my body to reset itself. I feel empowered to eat more consciously.

For me, I am planning to maintain a largely vegan and gluten free diet, however, I will not be 100% on either. I think it’s important to find what realistically works for each and every one of us, and I’m sorry but there’s nothing better to me than a pepperoni pizza and beer night!! 

Having said that, I have noticed that my days go smoother and I feel no bloatedness or sluggishness in the afternoons when I stick to the basic cleanse rules (i.e vegan, gluten free, no sugar, no caffeine, no alcohol and spacing food with at least 3 hrs between each snack or meal).

I've noticed my yoga asana practice has strengthened. I've taken a vigorous class every day and I’m finding not only additional strength in the postures, but also a greater awareness of myself, my breath and my body in each posture. Moving into postures I've taken hundreds of times before, I've found a new extension, depth or alignment, it has been rather profound. That is reason enough for me to keep working hard and being even more mindful of my body and health. It’s eye-opening, as someone who takes relatively good care of herself, how much else can be done to ensure a full and energized life.

Would I recommend the cleanse? Absolutely! It’s damn hard work but it’s really worth it, and 8 days later it seems like the blink of an eye. I’m actually keen to do another at the turn of summer into autumn.

The hardest part for me was the self-reflection. Taking the honest look at myself to see where my habits are, why they are there and where I tend to just be a little lazy with my own health.

If you’re willing to take a real look at what drives your habits, and to completely wipe the slate clean you have an amazing opportunity to lose weight, feel better, figure out your allergies (cleansing the system gives you a unique opportunity to slowly reintroduce food groups to see what impacts you) and, for nothing more, the great sense of accomplishment you get from saying “I did it”, “I have taken back control of my health”.

I'm tired of hearing about the next craze in dieting, the next pill that "... could be the magic ingredient that lets you lose weight without diet and exercise" (thank Dr Oz for that one). You know yourself better than anyone else - you don't need to be told what to do. What works for one doesn't work for all. Take responsibility for what you want out of life.

My golden rule is : If you're unhappy you have 2 choices - you can either make a change, or you can choose to be happy as you are. For as hard and as scary as change can seem, it is much more difficult to be happy when you're inherently not. Everything changes - take control of the change and steer it in the direction you want it to go.

Can you smeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllll what AL is cooking?

Day 6 and I’m into the final leg of the journey.

Sunday was my last day of just juice and it was incredibly easy. My energy levels were through the roof (Lauren explained that 80% of the body’s energy is used in food digestion, so the boosts are natural), and even the green juice started to taste great!

Think I might miss my liquid fridge

I was a little nervous moving back to solid foods today. I’ve noticed more and more my hunger habit – those times when I’m not really hungry but I feel I should eat so I persuade myself that I am. It’s helpful having an eating schedule (never sooner than 3 hrs after the last meal, and never after 7.30pm), but it also takes some courage to dive back into solids without risking all the good work so far. I opted for the half-way point: delicious, thick home-made soup.

Time to chew

And there’s the other benefit of the plan, I’ve actually started to cook. Never been bad at cooking, I’ve just never enjoyed it. Now that I have a reason to cook (vegan options are limited to a falafel salad and split pea soup in my immediate work vicinity) it’s way more enjoyable making my dishes for the week.

I had a total cooking fest last night – kale chips, spaghetti squash and tomato sauce, vege soup and kitcheree. I wish I’d had the thought to take a photo, it’s like hurricane Anna Louise hit the kitchen J

In just 5 days of cleansing I’m noticing an obvious weight loss (for those interested 5lbs so far), boost in energy, brighter skin and eyes, lighter mood and most dramatically for me a new taste palette. Natural food smells and tastes amazing. Without the processing, salts, fats and sugars that are slammed into most of our food these days, my taste buds have come alive, everything tastes so much better and as such I’m more inclined to take my time, to enjoy my meal and to process it properly. So much better than bolting down that dry crummy sandwich or over indulging in late night snacks.

My goal now is to ease back into solid food naturally with a good rhythm, one that allows me to eat well but the right things at the right times and maintain the clarity and energy.

Hello colon

If you've ever doubted what one of the worst drinks in the world is - let me enlighten you - 32oz of water with 2 teaspoons of salt. Yep it tastes as bad as it sounds. Having said that it absolutely works! Today was my colon cleanse, without too many graphic details... Let's just say I'm glad yesterday was nothing but juice!

Starting to see the effects physically and emotionally now, feeling lighter, brighter and more energized. Now I miss food but I'm not hungry .

My concern is returning to bad habits post cleanse, it would be so easy to jump back into too much and dislodge all the benefits of this week. That will be my battle, sticking to a largely vegan diet requires preparation , which can be tough when you're trying to hold down a professional life, social life, private life and chase down your dreams , difficult ... But not impossible. I'm committed  though, ready to keep on working hard.

Juuuuuuice

The next 3 days are nothing but juice juice juice.

You'll be happy to hear my mood has lifted.

It's tough for me - not the hunger, that's still there but much milder - but drinking veg juices with the spice/peppery aftertaste doesn't match my sweet tooth. It's been an enlightening though, beginning to understand the difference between real hunger and the habit of eating. Since the juices are palatable but not my favourite thing, I'm taking my time with them, filling up with water and waiting until I'm  actually hungry and not just bored or stressed before I drink them.

For someone who has taken pretty good care of herself over the last few years, it's a huge eye opener to find these little areas of habit and perhaps even addiction to a "quick fix".  I'm motivated to stick with it and reset not just my body but my emotions and attitude toward food.

I love a good breakthrough ... not matter how peppery they are :)

Day 2 … Woah There Grumpy B(r)itches

Feeling ruff

Rough start to day 2 from an emotional level, I felt out of sorts and out of patience as soon as I woke. Didn't help that I didn't sleep well either, although I think that was less to do with cleansing, and more to do with the joys of city living and those sporadic 3am street gatherings.

The wonderful gift of yoga, however, is that I recognize it quickly. It gives me both insight to notice when I’m not myself, and the means to realign and re-centre should I chose. And folks, choice is important, it’s totally possible to be a yogini and decide to avoid your inner voice and fight regardless. I wish I could say I handle every situation with peace and grace, but the truth is sometimes I let myself (and my fiery Pitta) boil over. 

More often than not, those are the times that you inadvertently hurt someone you care about, whether it’s a friend or family member you snap at for no reason, or those big puppy dog eyes you get when you shout at the barking instead of tending to their needs.

So what do you do when you boil over?   Simple:

Firstly, take a moment to be silent, whether it’s quiet meditation, a yoga class, or a long walk, take the time to be by yourself and listen.

This morning I sat for just 10 minutes in meditation and the effect was palpable. Just being able to listen to, accept and, in this case, giggle at the ridiculous response having to my morning calmed me down and removed the aches and pains I was feeling in my upper back and hips (of course my root and heart chakras were over active with those emotions).

And never be afraid to keep to yourself. Being mindful doesn't mean that you have to always be bright and breezy, you can be having a s*** day too, just be mindful of it and don’t project it onto those around you. The more you practice that, practice removing yourself from situations that are likely to increase your anxiety or anger, the calmer and happier you become. Just as the more you work-out and practice improving your cardiovascular system, the stronger it becomes in every-day life.

Secondly, apologize. If you snapped at someone, go make it better.  Just do it. Don’t over-think it, don’t lead with ‘ifs’, ‘ands’ and ‘buts’ – just go say, “I’m sorry, that was wrong of me”. Remember you don’t necessarily have to explain why, but you are responsible for putting things right. And when you apologize, mean it, if you’re not calm and ready yet, wait.

To that point – if you’re reading this as a friend, family member or lover of a feisty off-balance yogi today – give them room, let them breathe, they will come to you when they’re ready and it will mean much more to you and to them when it’s not forced.

So, asides my noticeable tetchiness, things are already much easier today. My hunger pangs are further and further apart and I feel … how do I describe it … well : cleaner. The effects of putting good things into my body, and using food as medicine, whether real or imagined, have a very real impact on my general feeling of well-being. I’m already encouraged to work through the tough-spells and keep up with some of the less pleasant sides of the cleanse (FYI I’m really not looking forward to Saturday’s colon cleanse and I’m racking my brain for excuses as to why I simply can’t drink a bucket of luke warm salt-water)

I feel like I’m at that pivotal spot, easy to quit because I feel better and the idea of a juice-cleanse doesn't thrill me, but long-sighted enough to know I just have to ignore my grumbles and get through this for the benefits in the long run.

Special thank you Ms Spears for the motivational tune of my day , because sometimes, when it’s tough, you just have to put your head down and Work B****!

Not to mention it makes me giggle every time I hear her terrible Nicki Minaj-esque fake British accent, it may surprise no one that we don’t all say “gov’nor”. Bless you Brit, bless you.