Take some alone time

Ever since I started yoga I've felt "naughty" for not having a regular meditation practice. I felt guilty for not sitting in a dark room chanting every morning.
The more I read, the more I realise how important meditation is, but also how many different ways there are to meditate. Meditation gives us time to reflect, it can be a little scary being completely honest but without that there's no way to unravel all the nonesense and to truly hear out intuition over all the noise of modern life.

Here are some of my favourite ways to find a little solitude and self-reflection:

• Go for a drive: perfect for everyday (no need to worry about a little rain) don't see the backup on the 405 as a reason to stress, take a deep breath, put on some calming tunes and quiet your mind... Just don't drift off too much, I don't want to see your insurance bill
• Go for a walk: there's nothing better for me than 30 mins a day with my pups and the open air. The more regularly I go, the more I resist the temptation to call and chat with friends, the better I feel by the end of it.
• Take a bath: warm bubbles, candles - who says you need someone else to be romantic, take time to learn to love yourself, it will shine from every pore and you'll smell pretty great too
• Workout: use your swim, run, weights or asana practice as a moving meditation. Make sure, however you work up a sweat, that you take at least 5 mins after to sit or lie quietly and tune out. We all know working out oxygenates the blood and releases endorphins, what better way to self-reflect than when you're feeling alive and awesome?!
• Take a meditation class: most yoga studios offer groups or classes, if you can't find one that works check out the sessions on yogaglo.com and let someone guide you to your zen space.
• Go to bed 30 mins earlier and turn off the voices: I can lie awake for hours running over things that happened throughout the day, things I wish I'd done in the past or my dreams for the future - it's engaging and entertaining but it's also exhausting and unreal. There's a time for daydreaming and there's a time for quiet. Take your pre-sleep time and just be quiet, focus on your breathe and be present, you can't change anything that went before and you can't see what's coming next so stop worrying about it and let your ego go for a while. Not only will you drift off into a better sleep, but you'll find you slowly bring the ability to breathe and be present into your waking hours too.

Now go and get your om on! Namaste

Just one thing

I can't tell you the number of times I've heard in class "spread your fingers wide, it will remove the pressure from your wrists". I know it's true, I've been trying it for the last 4 years. I even say it repeatedly when I teach my friends: "spread them like starfish" seems to be on repeat these days. Today, the amazing mini Milena said something a little different. "Spread your fingers wide", yeh yeh yeh heard it, "and press into the pads of your fingers", huh?! Press into the pads of my fingers? That's new! So I tried it. Suddenly the muscles in my arms engaged, my thighs engaged, even my core. (And yep, the weight really did come out of my wrists).

Such a small change impacted so much, it relieved pressure, brought integrity to my posture, and my muscles started working smart (rather than just hard). It got me thinking how those small changes really make a huge difference.

I used to be a classic yo-yo dieter. I would go on huge health kicks, losing a ton of weight, then slip back into bad habits and pile it all back on. Over the last few years I've taken a more gentle approach with myself, slowly introducing a regular work out routine, led to me eventually practicing an hour of yoga and a little cardio a day. Then, without even realizing it, I found myself shying away from fast foods and sweets and enjoying fruit as a snack. My body started to tell me that caffeine is just not a friend of mine. It makes me anxious and unhappy. I even stopped drinking pop (which I was pretty much addicted to) and started to enjoy komboucha .... seriously, fermented tea, are you kidding me?!

I think the small changes allow you to really feel what's going on, whether it's physical, mental or emotional. They don't give you quick, dramatic results but they're so easy to make that you stick with them and form habits. Habits that can filter out into so many areas of your life that overtime you find yourself happier and healthier. The change is so gentle there's not shock to the system and your body and mind can really tell you what it needs rather than blindly following someone's orders to eat nothing but bacon and watermelon or sit in a sweatbox until you pass out (if you didn't catch it in 2010 three people died trying to follow someone else's path to enlightenment and not listening to their intuition http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37626688/ns/dateline_nbc/t/deadly-retreat/)

Am I going to eat nothing but green beans and tofu, ummm no, clearly you've not been reading my blog, but have I dramatically improved my diet - yes -and I feel better every day (and more able to make further small changes). Did I, in one yoga class, perfect my chataranga? Nope, that's gonna take me a whiles yet, but I felt something very significant change with the slightest movement, and now I've felt it I can go back to that point and work from there each time I practice, engaging my core more, strengthening more and protecting more, eventually I will have that beautiful low plank ... you'll all hear about it when I get there!

Make a small change, whether it's diet and exercise, relaxing with a past time you've always wanted to enjoy or removing a little of the drama from your life. Take a time check of where you're at right now, and revisit in a few months. You'll be surprised of the changes that have occurred.

Credit where credit's due

Ever feel like we're all way too hard on ourselves? I do. I think it's high time we take a little break from trying to live up to impossible expectations and acknowledge just how fabulous we all are.

I know there are some really amazing people out there, those heroes who stand out from the crowd - soldiers, firemen, doctors, policemen to name just a few, and I give them full credit, respect and love for everything they do for us. However, there's a little something amazing in every one of us and it's important from time to time to give credit where credit's due and it's okay to feel good about the love you bring into the world.

Take some time today to sit back and recognize all the great things you've done, all the times you've made someone else smile.

Struggling for ideas? Well, firstly, stop being that person - there are enough people in the world who are going to put you down or hold you back, you need to be your own biggest fan, start right now! Take a breath and look around you. Is there a little puppy or kitten looking up at you with big thankful eyes because you saved their life when you adopted them and gave them a loving home? Did you take an extra minute on your last shopping trip to offer a smile, a kind word or some food for the homeless guy that so many people just blanked and walked straight past? Perhaps you donated some money or time to your favourite charity, that is right now working miracles for those in need. Maybe you took an extra minute, even though you were exhausted, to read that extra bedtime story to your little one.

Are you starting to see my point?

There are so many ways in which your love and light change the world, be thankful that you have the opportunity to spread happiness, and recognize how much you do to make others happy. You're amazing! Now go celebrate and treat yourself big today.

My Om is better than your Om

"Is the healing you do physical as well as everything else?"

"the three dimensions, are but one. and that, we are. so most definitely. yet the right answer to that question is however its best received by a specific audience in linear time. ya know what I mean?"

a-sphincter-say-what?!
This is an actual exert from a conversation I had with a friend of mine not too long ago. Now, as a disclaimer, I really like this guy, he's always been very sweet to me, but this was a perfect example of that occasion you try to turn to someone for help and they make you feel so confused and ridiculous that you just back off.

We've all met them right? That guy or gal who thinks they're just so much more zen then you. They look at you with those pitying eyes when you explain you're really enjoying your yoga practice and say something banal like "oh my dear, what you're doing is just an asana practice, true yoga runs so much deeper...".

Don't get me wrong, I know there's a whole lot more to this yoga lark than just a physical practice and I actively work every day to incorporate yoga into all aspects of my life (believe me - it ain't always easy living in LA in 2012, so it's definitely a "practice"). Nonetheless, I try to keep my spiritual and lifestyle opinions to myself unless I am directly asked. Okay okay - that's not strictly true - my ever patient boyfriend and my closest friends do have to put up with me offering my advice whenever I see fit, but that's what they're there for right?! (I'm sure they all gave a big sigh of relief when I finally joined my Teacher Training group and found like-minded yogis who were happy to chat with me all day about doshas and the best asana for a head cold ;)) In general though, I try to honour other people's space and journey, if someone chats to me about it I am really happy to talk and share my personal experiences, suggest books to read, places to visit etc, but I try to respect where they are and what they are looking for, rather than try to push where I believe someone should be.

When I first started yoga I really wasn't looking for anything other than a new style of work out. For me that's all I thought I needed. I was lucky to have a friend that introduced me to yoga and pushed nothing, she was obviously happy, healthy and content and could see that yoga would eventually get me to that stage too, but she did nothing more than suggest I take a class, the rest was up to me. The CorePower Yoga studio suited me perfectly. It looked and felt like a gym - clean, bright and modern - and the teacher didn't try to tell me to "drop into a meditative state", instead he told me to breathe and push it during the core series. The mental and emotional benefits took time for me and I was glad to be able to do this at my own pace. When I approached my friend or one of the teachers about why I felt overwhelmed during half-pigeon they were there to talk to me and help me and they never made me feel anything but secure and safe.

Sadly, that can't be said about everyone I've come across. I've been told on numerous occasions that if I were a true yogi I would be vegan, or that I wouldn't touch alcohol, I've even been told that I couldn't possibly expect to have any sort of spiritual understanding unless I meditate for at least 2-3 hours a day. Well, bugger that! I enjoy cheese pizza and beer far too much and, whilst I'd love to have the time for a regular meditation practice, I also have a full time job and friends, a work-out routine, a puppy and a relationship.

So, here's my advice (whether you asked for it or not :)), you are exactly where you are supposed to be. If you want to know more about yoga then ask someone you trust and love and don't listen to the oh-so-perfect yogis who make you feel like you're at the bottom of the totem pole. More than likely your own yoga practice is actually much clearer and more honest. Think about it this way, if you're really happy with your relationship do you feel the need to shout about it and tell other people how happy you are and how they could possibly achieve such a great boyfriend or girlfriend too? No, more than likely you're so happy you don't have time to preach to others. The same goes for yoga, if you feel someone is judging you for not being as "perfect" as them, just brush it off, they're fighting their own demons. That guy sitting in the lotus position, eyes closed, smiling wryly and shaking his head at your "naive" question about the meaning of Om has much more to deal with than he probably realizes. Walk away and find someone who can really help you.

And to this end, keeping a sense of your own intuition keeps you safe, trust yourself and you will avoid these awkward situations, and importantly those groups or individuals who prey on the open hearts and minds of yogis (unfortunately there are some not so great people out there). Listen to your gut, if something feels off it usually is. And if you're not sure what it's telling you, talk to someone you've trusted for a long time, or someone within a known and respected studio.

Don't ever be made to feel that you're silly for asking a question or that you could never be a "true" yogi because you like to watch Glee and eat a gallon of ice cream on a Tuesday night. Being a yogi is about being the best you that you can possibly be, yoga recognizes any path to an open heart and joyous spirit and it is non-judgmental. Hell, if Robert Downey Jr can be a yogi after all his mischief there's hope for us all!

And if you ever feel hurt or embarrassed by someone's reaction - try to remember this and I guarantee you'll giggle every time.

Testy test-outs

What a weekend!!
Friday started with our CPR Heartsaver class (that brought back some memories after 18months with the AHA!), and a panic over the upcoming written test. Then Saturday was such a high: really amazing "Friends and Family" class where we all taught a couple of postures, followed by the written which was way easier than expected. Then today our final test out. The sheer highs of the weekend, along with the nerves and excitement was overwhelming. It's a crazy feeling to know I've completed something I've poured my heart and soul into for the last 8 weeks.

So what have I learnt?
Firstly - I feel more at home teaching a class and working with people's energy than I have been doing anything else before :) Most importantly, I learnt that my own self-judgments often hold me back. At the start of the course I was worried that people were laughing or gossiping about me. In the past that would have lead to me backing off and not performing to my best, for the first time it actually spurred me to work harder. I needed to prove to myself that I had tried my absolute best whatever the outcome, and I needed to step out of my own judgments. Its true that more often than not the judgements we feel others are passing are our own insecurities and ego screaming at us.
And, although there have been so many lessons over the last 8 weeks, with all the emotions this weekend it seems pertinent to note that I learnt it's okay to be emotional and it's okay to ask for help. I have often tried to hide my true feelings, I suppose I've worried that I'll be seen as weak or that I'll be adding to someone else's troubles. This weekend, particularly tonight, I realised that sometimes you need to be completely honest about what you are feeling and why. Only by doing that was I able to get over it and move on. It's perfectly okay to cry and let everything out, it helps us clear our hearts for the positive emotions we aim to embrace.

Yoga encourages us to do this by physically opening our hips and hearts and preparing us for the mental and emotional release (I bet I'm not the only one to have cried in half pigeon or wanted to scream in camel), but we need to be ready for that next layer. It you feel overwhelmed remember that emotions don't last forever. If you're feeling hurt then cry, scream, shout, then let it go. Don't carry it around with you allowing it to cloud your every decision and action. If it's an option, talk to the people who have hurt you - but be honest, with them and with yourselves (this is how I feel... But I realise I am over stressed / anxious etc). Remember that those who mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind (thanks Dr Suess for that one!). If that's not an option just let it go, what's the point of holding on to events you can't change, let it go and do what makes you happy, whether that's following your dream to become a yoga teacher or snuggling with you pup on a Sunday night watching Mannequin .... Which is exactly what I'm gonna do right now!

Namaste b*****s ;)

Wasted Energy

You've heard that phrase "well that was complete waste of energy" right?

I used it today and I realized just how negative that is. It's so indicative of how we view the world around us. We're always expecting a certain result from our actions and if we don't realize these goals we feel that we've wasted our time and energy.

A few weeks ago I was working on a little project with my friends. We were going to get together and film and post some sketches. A few of us had really invested a lot of time and energy and things just sort of fell flat. Every time I would try to get people rallied to work together it was met with clashes of schedules, lack of interest and a general lethargy around the project. I let it drop too and quickly filled up my time with other things (teacher training for the most part) and hadn't really thought about it much until earlier today when I was walking my puppy and a song came on Pandora that sparked the memory.

My immediate reaction was to become irritated. Why did I waste so much of my time if no one else cared? I could have been doing lots of other things. Why am I the only person who can keep a commitment? It really pissed me off and I was feeling completely hard done by. But then I got to thinking... I had fun working on the project with my friends, I enjoyed being creative, we hung out, laughed, and enjoyed each other's company. Can I really call that a waste?

I get so attached to the end result that I forgot sometimes how much fun the journey is. Would it have been great to see things through to fruition? Absolutely! But does that mean I completely wasted my energy? I don't think so. I guess it showed me, if you're doing things for the right reason, whether that's to develop your own skills, to have fun, to benefit others or something else entirely, then you're using your time and energy in a positive way and that's all you should hope for. It reminded me to enjoy the process and action above and beyond the goal.

I'm not suggesting we all stop trying to reach our goals deliberately - that would just make us stagnant and depressed. But enjoy the present, enjoy the time you spend doing things, the time you spend with your friends and family along the way, or the things you learn individually. And remember, as soon as you've achieved that goal, it's not the end, it's just a step further in life and it's time to start something new. This weekend I complete my 200hr training and I'm both excited and terrified. The last 8 weeks have been really life changing and I've enjoyed the growth, the friendships I've formed and the deepening of my yoga practice. The idea that next weekend I won't be meeting up on Fri, Sat and Sun with my classmates is really quite unnerving. Achieving a goal can be unsettling at times. Luckily for me this is just the start to a much longer journey and I'm already planning next steps...

Remember to love every minute of life. Realization of your dreams is wonderful but it's a very short lived high, like massacring that bar of chocolate you've been thinking about all week, and it can feel like a big crash after it. Don't spend your life rushing from one goal to another without enjoying the path on the way there. And don't freak out when you achieve your goals, enjoy the celebration and then get right on into your next journey. Keep growing, keep learning and keep laughing.

Stop drinking the poison

I recently read an amazing quote from Nelson Mandela "Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies".

Last year I went through an upset with someone I considered a dear friend, the whole episode left me very hurt and confused. Whilst the friendship will never be rebuilt, it was possible for me to forgive this person, I was able to see everything they were going through and how things could have been misconstrued. However, what truly hurt were the actions of others who jumped into the drama both feet and stirred everything up to boiling point. Every time I think of the episode I would get that sick feeling in my stomach that I had been wronged and something should be said. I would brood over Facebook posts (come on we've all done it), write and delete texts and emails and bitch endlessly about it to my friends going over and over how much I'd been hurt and how unfair it was. As girls we're all a little trained by shows like Sex In The City and Cosmo magazine, that the basis of any good friendship is the ability to get together over drinks and have a good old bitch session.

Don't get me wrong, I think the actions of the ... hmm what's a good word for sh*t-stirrer?! (sorry mum!)... was really unacceptable, however, my reaction to it caused me more heartache and sleepless nights then necessary.

It took me a while to realize but every time I wasted my energy on these negative emotions, the only person I was hurting was myself. Everyone else involved was getting on with their lives, enjoying themselves and I didn't even cross their minds.

I've come to take Mandela's quote truly to heart. If someone hurts me I try to run through a series of questions that always help calm my heart. Firstly, was it intentional? If not, can I empathize with what they are going through and offer forgiveness right off the bat? Secondly, do they realize they've hurt me? If not, would it help to clear things if I tell them or will it just stir up more problems? If they do, have they already apologized? I'm guilty of punishing people repeatedly for mistakes they've made even after they have asked for my forgiveness. It's easy to do, in an effort to protect ourselves we assume the worse, that someone will repeatedly hurt you if they have done it once, but this belief really constricts our relationships. It's important you do not take forgiveness lightly, if you offer it - it should be complete, not just until the next time you have a bad day comes around.

It's all a lot easier said than done but if we learn to accept emotions for all they are, waves of feelings, we are able to let go of them much more quickly. If you acknowledge the fact that someone has hurt you, and all the feelings that come with that - anger, hurt, embarrassment - you can drop them almost as quickly as they arise and go back to being happy and content.

If someone has hurt you beyond repair, accept that and move on.

If you're struggling with finding forgiveness, or accepting the feelings that surround it, try making a few small adjustments to your routine. Rather than sit down and bitch about the incident with your friends, take a step back and talk to them about what's making you happy right now. It's amazing how quickly you can find something positive to fill your life with.

If you're fighting your feelings, sit down and accept them, be sad, be angry and forgive yourself as much as you forgive others - we put so much pressure on ourselves to be pillars of strength we are angry if anyone hurts us, it's okay to let people in and it's okay to admit when someone hurts you.

Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to let someone back into your life, but it does mean that you let go of the resentment you're holding on to and move on. The quicker you move on, the happier you'll be.